#Biblical Marriage - Part 1

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Biblical Marriage - Part 1 Paul Washer | Runtime: 1hr

[hazelfoureyes]

I just need you to know this story has had me in a chokehold and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it. This is gonna be a weird smutty slow burn, so still smut every post but full p in v sex will be a reward you have to work for?

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Redsmut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedysmut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie

A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.

「warnings/tags: HumanAlastor x FemaleReader, implied attempt to SA, fingering, plot with porn?, Multi part work, bad kind of choking, blood kink, blood licking, just in general blood, Non-Sex repulsed Ace Spectrum Alastor, stalking, murder obvs, finger sucking, smoking kinda kills if you squint, Public sex acts, garter belt, You have a stage name but no one important uses it, Greed, Lust, Human Alastor is a little different than Demon Alastor. 」

minors dni 💅🏽

Part 1 Pretty in Red

The marriage between burlesque and jazz wasn’t unexpected. Before the Great Depression took the nation into a stranglehold, both Jazz and Burlesque were immoral wastes of time only the most barbaric sought out.

And oh, did you love it. Everyone who was made to feel like nobody flocked to your theater and the surrounding neighborhood. Men, women, the people who didn’t agree with either. The biblically inclined, those closer to sodom, the sapphic dolls. Everyone was equal in the halls of jazz rooms and theatres where burlesquers were welcome.

Because of the inclusive nature of such places, you often saw familiar faces. It wouldn’t be unusual for someone from Thursday night to be seen Saturday at a different locale.

That presented certain opportunities and challenges. When you found a good mark, it was easy to be wherever he was and play it off as fate and common interests.

And when you gained a new stalker, someone wanting a personal show, it could be hard to tell until it was too late. 

Maybe it was your greed, or just your love of attention, but you found yourself focused almost entirely on a particularly well dressed man one evening. You’d seen him around before. Clean cut, sharp suit, a welcoming smile always on display. He looked like he had money, the most attractive quality of any man you could meet.

So focused on his gleaming stare from the side booths you hadn’t noticed the man at the stage front tables. You barely noticed him the night before, or the night before that, either. Because Smiles, as you took to calling the handsome stranger in the back, had been here three nights now too.

You really put on a show. Shimmying your hips, ostrich feathers following suit with every move. Your brassiere was heavy with shining rhinestones, panties of silk and lace. Your set was almost done, all that was left was to remove your top and slink away behind the curtains to hollers and whistles. Back turned, you unhooked the painful bra and let it fall to the stage with a clunk. Foot in front of foot, you stalked the stage length. With your hand hidden from view you took the feathered fan from the stagehand behind the curtain. As the music crescendoed you turned, fan unfurling just in time to hide yourself.

Groans, mass begging from the audience. Your stage name a chant now, a prayer. “Autumn! Come on!”

As the band slowed, music dying to mark the end of your number, you scanned the crowd. Eyes blinking coyly, you mouthed, “More? Did you want more?”

People were jumping to their feet, not Smiles but that was fine, you were focused now on the adoration of the crowd. The music ended, a second of silence. 

You winked, the drums hitting one last beat as you let the fan close.

Fanfare! Men whistling, women clapping. Someone shouted a marriage proposal. You took a bow, twirled on the balls of your feet and slipped gracefully behind the curtains.

Your hands wound to your spine, rubbing blood flow back into your skin as the staff removed your headdress. Someone slipped your robe over you and you nodded a thanks, aching feet carrying you to the dressing room. It was chaos, as usual. Women buzzing around, tits and ass here and there. You smiled. You happened to enjoy this part of the job. Soft bodies in shiny costumes, lovely smells and sweet voices. If you could get dressed quickly enough, you could still take a tour of the room and slide into Smiles’ booth. 

“Enjoy the show?” You’d ask. He’d lean in, maybe blush, “Always when you’re here.” Or something like that. You’d cozy up to him, flag down a waiter for something strong and pricey, and get him properly drunk. He’d wake up outside, fine and dandy except his missing cash. 

You’ll call him a drunkard if he confronts you, accuse him of getting himself robbed after you refused his advances. You’ll say it too loudly, and he’ll run off. 

You danced a little in your seat, another game of cat and mouse about to commence. But first, a smoke.

Unbeknownst to you, the well dressed man hadn’t come to see you. He preferred your singing shows at the little dive bar two blocks over. No, he had come for the man at the front table. For weeks now, he had watched him harassing the ladies of the few joints in New Orleans that weren’t regularly hounded by police. Your smiley mark even heard stories of unsavory acts, many women leaving the dance scene entirely after.

He didn’t care for it. He didn’t care for him. So he took to his hunt, following the man to come to his own conclusions. The pattern of behavior was obvious, and though he hadn’t seen what ended the last obsession, it was clear one of the performers at this club was being stalked as the next victim. 

He watched your dance with half lidded eyes, just as much as he watched the man give dirty looks to the other men cheering. Heard the, “Marry me!” shouted at you.

Yes, it was obvious to him now. 

So when the target of his interest got up and pushed his way into a staff only door, well, the well dressed man was sure to follow. 

The great thing about confidence and a nicely tailored suit is that no one questions you about why you are where you are. So while the brute he tailed had to shove past people to get wherever he was going, people smiled and made room for the gentleman who was not far behind.

He caught the street access door before it closed, allowing it to stay open just a sliver. Enough for one golden brown eye to watch the events unfold.

“Can I have a light?” The stranger asked you. You looked at him, then to the staff only entrance he just came out of. 

“I don’t think I know you….,” you handed him the lighter but he instead leaned into you, cigarette hanging from his lips. “You… new?”

You sparked the flint with a practiced thumb, taking three tries to get it lit, and put your hand out. The man didn’t budge, eyebrows rising, “You really don’t recognize me?” He asked, motioning with his hand to come closer. Your eyes glanced down the alley, cars slowly moving past the street. When you looked back, the man took your wrist in his hand. He held you so tightly that the muscles in your palm locked and you dropped the lighter. 

“What the fu-,” his hand came across your face, halting your sentence.

“I’m your best customer. Every show. I’m the one who brings flowers.”

Dozens of men bring flowers, especially on the weekend shows. You held your cheek, skin burning. Your hand pulled back, the corner of your lip bleeding from his rings. Scrambling, your mind was searching for the right words.

With a forced smiled, your shaky voice finally piped up, “Oh! Yeah! Oh geez. I am so sorry, doll. I’m just so tired, and the alley is so dark. Here, let’s go inside so I can get a better look at you.” You tried to take your wrist from him but he didn’t loosen up.

“Nah, you ain’t tricking me. You owe me.” He pulled you into him, large hand gripping your face with ease, “You can’t lead on men like this and think you don’t gotta answer for it.” He kissed you, forcing your face into his. “Bitch! Did you fucking bite me?” He threw you into the tin trash cans beside the wall, knocking the wind out of you. 

No purse, no sharp object, not even a heeled shoe to defend yourself with. You cursed, so preoccupied with Smiles you forgot your wits.

You spit out the copper saliva, his blood and yours. “I’ll keep biting, too.” 

Why scream? The sounds of the next act were bouncing off the brick walls. Upbeat jazz and applause echoing around you. No one would hear you. Men can break your body but you never had to give them your dignity. Never give them the satisfaction of a response.

No. No screaming. You instead spent your energy trying to get to your feet. He took hold of your neck now, throttling you. It wasn’t what you had expected, but as he lifted you off the ground and your little dressing room slippers fell off, you thought this was actually better. 

“Well I think that’s quite enough.”

You felt warmth, then registered wetness. Your shin scraped on the asphalt as you were dropped without warning. Trying to open your eyes, you found you couldn’t see. Wiping and blinking away the foreign liquid, you watched your attacker fall to his knees.

Blood was shooting from between his fingers around his own neck, each pulse becoming weaker and weaker, evident through the stream.

When he finally fell over, drained, you were startled to see another man with you. The light reflected off his glasses as he adjusted them, the knife still in his right hand as he did so. 

“My, my. What a mess he’s made.” The man smiled down at you, offering a hand. When you didn’t immediately react, he cocked his head to the left, “Is that anyway to treat your rescuer?”

Is that was this was? A rescue? You took his hand with both of yours, pulling yourself up. 

Smiles? You blinked away the shock, time to shift into your next part. Damsel. You weren’t out the woods yet.

“You saved my life!” As you pressed yourself into his chest, you tucked your head beneath his chin. You tried to make yourself small. “I owe you! Please let’s go inside, drinks on me!” You looked up, batting your lashes.

“I don’t think that’s wise, dear.” His gaze panned down your dress, soaked through. He could see the thinking behind your eyes.

“No, right….,” You gripped his vest, “We gotta get outta here, fast. There’s a hotel just behind the threatre.” You started to pull his suit jacket off, slipping it over yourself. “No cops, the theatre will get raided. Just— take me somewhere safe?”

You watched him look you over, arm finally extending to let you hook yours with his. 

As soon as the hotel door closed behind you, you slipped off his jacket and ran to the dressing table mirror. 

Your face was painted red, navy dress now black and sticky. It was good you stayed from view of the reception staff. “I didn’t get my rescuer’s name,” you licked your thumb and rubbed at the blood around your cheeks. 

“Alastor. It’s a pleasure.”

You laughed, “Is that what you call a pleasure?” Turning, you pulled the mostly still dry handkerchief from your pocket and dabbed the corner on your tongue. You brought it up to the frame of his glasses and wiped the blood from the metal. “I’d hate to see what you call a bad time.”

Your hand slowed, noticing the way he was looking at you. Typically men’s pupils were blown when they fell on you, but his were constricted. They flitted around your face. His hand took hold of yours, fingers separating the thumb from the handkerchief. He pulled the little square of yellow fabric free with his other hand, allowing him to hold your thumb now by itself.

His lips opened, tongue licking the blood stained finger before placing it directly into his mouth.

Your stared, horrified, as he sucked the digit clean. 

His eyes fluttered close, finger popping out of his mouth with a debauched sound. You made no attempt to take back your hand. The realization you may have hopped out of the frying pan and into the fire set in.

“You are a funny one, aren’t you?” You tried to sound as in control as possible. Calm. Unwavered. Offered a timid smile. 

He chuckled, “You could say that. May I?” His fingers lifted your chin. You didn’t know what he was asking. His soft smile looked downright loving. He smelled so good, notes of something earthy rising above the copper.

You nodded, because part of you wanted to see where it would go. And part of you thought you didn’t have a choice.

As his face came to yours, you instinctually closed your eyes expecting a kiss. But no, instead you felt his tongue wipe across the cut at the corner of your mouth. His breath blanketed your cheek. Then his hand left your chin, the warmth of his body gone entirely. 

You opened your eyes to see him at the door, slipping back into his jacket, “I’ll pay for the night.” He tipped his head to you and exited the room back first, eyes locked with yours until the door closed.

You just stood there in the silence left behind. But as if on cue, the adrenaline waned and your knees buckled under you. You were moments from death, now somehow spared. But what had he— Alastor, been doing there? Did he follow you, too? The cat and mouse had been flipped, or perhaps now this was a fox and hound?

Gripping the dressing table, you pulled yourself up and into the view of the mirror again. Face streaked in dried blood save for the one clean spot where your lips met cheek. 

You felt like a ghost the next day. It would be nice to tell someone about what happened but, “Hey a man tried to kill me and then another man killed him! Then he licked blood off my face and I let him. It was the most disturbingly erotic thing to happen to me in months!” would get you tossed into a wagon. 

“Are you rude or just stupid?” The theatre manager pulled you aside by the arm when you came into rehearsal. “You can’t just disappear like that, people were waiting.”

Your eyes narrowed, “Was… my absence really the most exciting part of the evening? Not the John in the gutter?”

He huffed, “So that’s it? Got a beau?”

“Wait— nothing else happened last night? After I left?” 

“This show doesn’t revolve around you. Plenty happened.”

“Excuse me,” you hurried into the back, “And sorry!”

You opened the street access door and looked into the alley. Trash cans neat and tidy, no dead man, nothing strange or telltale.

You ducked back inside. Had Smiles done this? Obviously, actually. No stranger just cleaned up the dead body. If the flatfeet had found him, the club would have been under scrutiny.

Good, you thought, and went about your work.

Rehearsal dragged on. Little details summoning you back to the night before. 

“You okay?” Another performer asked, grabbing your hand and inspecting the blood around your cuticles.

“Oh it’s not mine!” You laughed, she laughed, you walked off before she could clarify.

When applying your makeup, you remembered his hands on your face. They were so soft. Definitely a man of means. A brief intrusive thought, the other hands on your face last night.

You pranced on stage, going through the motions of your routine. Even in the empty hall, your eyes wandered to the booth he’d been in. And as you took the stage in earnest later that night you searched the crowd for the glint of his glasses and found nothing shiny nor promising.

Back in the dressing room you took a moment to wonder what the actual fuck you we’re doing. He murdered a man in front of you, why were you hoping to see him again? He had half a mind to kill you next.

But would that really be so bad?  Your life was routine, boring even. The only thing keeping your lungs expanding was the applause. Maybe the headlines of your death would cause such an uproar, dancer struck down in her prime, that you could bask in the loving glow all the way from hell.

One way to remain famous, you considered. A dramatic death.

Not that you were famous. You weren’t part of the national circuits. Just your local theatres, a common face and body to the sinners of Louisiana’s most infamous city. But, well, fame is relative. For the scene you were in, you were your own little star. 

A shining light. Shimmering. The faint light reflecting off— Blood. For a second you could only remember looking through bloodied, heavy lashes. 

“You’ve been so out of it. Trouble in paradise?” Ruth, the curviest of your coworkers and arguably the favorite of the crew, rested her chin on your head. Looking at each other in the mirror, you offered a soft smile.

“I’ll letcha know when I get there.”

She pinched your cheek, “Tommy said you had a new guy. I just figured-,”

“That isn’t,” you clenched your eyes shut, “no, no guy. I just got locked out last night in the alley. The sticky-,” sticky and viscous blood, “back door wouldn’t open up. I didn’t want to come in the front in my slippers so I just hoofed it home.” 

She patted your head, “if you say so! Be careful out there though. Dangerous these days.” 

An understatement.

You enjoyed the spotlight, but more than that you craved the attention doted on you after. You’d walk through the hall to the bar to adoring looks and free drinks. It bothered you that Tommy was telling the girls you had a man. You didn’t want to appear too closed off, or for word to spread to the customers. 

Last thing you needed was men passing you by for more available options. Not that the pay wasn’t fine. Ends were being met, but grifting added an element of thrill. You really did love the chase. Finding someone and deciding he would be yours, he would fall under your spell and be at your feminine mercy. It made you feel powerful, almost mythical. And the money was nice. Sometimes you didn’t even need to steal, the men would just lavish you in gifts and you’d let it fizzle out naturally. Normally their wives would snatch them back or they’d just get tired of waiting for you to leave the stage and dance into their domestic dreams. A housewife? An adopted mother to a grown man during the day, a hungry nymph at night? For what, an allowance and a home you didn’t own? Pass. Where’s that handsome man with his knife? That was a much better steel to fall onto than what these men offered from their laps.

From your view at the bar you knew he wasn’t there. But with a nod you decided the chase was still on. You were going to get your victory. If anything, this would be easier. You had dirt on him. Blackmail would be simple enough. Bloody clothes and the perfect alibi; being a woman. No cop would think you took down that hulking man. 

Ah, right. There was no body.

That would be an issue. He had to have taken it somewhere. Just find him and follow. Worst case scenario, you play the usual game and steal whatever cash was in his wallet.

Well, worst case you die. 

You slept sitting up to keep your hair set, during the day your makeup barely was there but a red lip always the star. You had three nice dresses (well, you had had four) so you figured three nights to find him before moving on.

You slinked through the crowds of the hot and sweaty dance club Moxie. Swinging music kept bodies moving, and though you kept your eyes open you didn’t catch sight of this Alastor fellow. Which was fine! You enjoyed a few dances, swing always making you feel energized. Not a waste of a Friday night.

Saturday was easy, the lounge on fifth. Smooth jazz, plush chairs, rich men. Definitely a place you could imagine Smiles to frequent. The whisky was all top shelf, and many gentlemen offered you a lap to sit. Sure, no Alastor, but you didn’t go home empty handed.

You weren’t a particularly great singer, but if the room was small enough and the piano loud enough, you could please a crowd. Your friend had you on a semi-set schedule most Sundays at her little dive too many blocks from Main Street. Her darling played piano, you sat and sang to the couple dozen patrons stuffed into the one room bar. When you finished your set, you took your bows and looked for your friend. You needed to tell her you wouldn’t be staying. 

Your polite nods and gracious thank yous were abruptly ended by a tap on your shoulder, “You dropped this, miss.” You did a mental check of your purse before turning around.

“Oh, a sight for sore eyes. Mr. Alastor.” Your face lit up, you could see it in his glasses.

“You’re too kind. Here, I apologize for the delay. I wanted to return them clean.” In his hand was your yellow handkerchief, folded neatly. You took it and found it uncharacteristically heavy. 

When you unfurled it, your brass lighter fell into your waiting palm. Your thumb caressed the engraving. 

Alastor watched your face as the lighter tumbled out. “I figured it was important, given the condition and detailing.”

You tested the weight in your hand, “Did you fill it?” You looked to him incredulously.  He nodded.

It was a surprisingly kind act, and you needed a second to regain your composure. “I don’t know how to thank you.” Your quick wit failed for a moment, but rebounded fast. “Except with a drink. My treat. To my rescuer.”

He mulled the idea, your reaction to him was interesting. Alastor had thought if he approached you first you’d show a little more fear, or shock. But you looked downright chipper to see him there. 

“Unfortunately I don’t have much time tonight. I had just wanted to return your items.”

Your smile dropped. How did he know you were here? Had he been carrying— no, he said he had them cleaned. Had he seen you here before, before the incident? A chuckle, smile brought back, “My luck is terrible. You always flee me. I hope you don’t see my company as deadweight.”

Alastor’s smile twitched, eyes hidden behind the glare of his glasses, “Not at all! I think you’d find I’m quite comfortable with-.”

“Lugging people around?” You said. That constricted pupil again, eyes wild. A chill ran down your spine. Alarms were going off. Wrong answer. You straightened your back, popping the items into your purse, “Next time.”

Alastor nodded, “Yes. Next time, then.”

You fucked it up. You knew you had, but suddenly his words felt like a thinly veiled threat. 

You turned to leave and hadn’t seen his smile sour.

It hadn’t been a threat. He hadn’t anticipated you to notice the implication. Most people would have been so blinded by his charm they would fail to notice the glaring red flags. He was mildly impressed. You would be more trouble than he had expected.

Alastor knew he needed to do something about the clearly clever woman who was seemingly expecting him. He had followed you for several days, surprised to find you not spreading word about the murder. You hadn’t spoken to anyone, really. Even the man you left the lounge with, you just smiled and nodded nearly all evening while the man dominated the conversation. So, your sharp wit took him off guard. Who were you pretending to be? And why?

All of your cleverness fell apart when you tried to follow him. It was almost comical. He felt bad. This was going to be embarrassing for you.

He took several right turns and stepped into the park just outside of the bar. You thought perhaps he had gotten lost and considered turning around after you realized you’d lost sight of him. As you passed a large weeping willow, you were pulled under the curtains of hanging moss by your waist.

Back against the large tree, you could only pout.

“What are you after, stalking a man in the dead of night?” Alastor had you pinned, both hands on either side of your head. His body boxed you in, not that there was much more to see than moss and darkness.

You blinked several times. What a question. You answered honestly, “You.” He cocked a brow. Then you lied, “Your affection. Your time.”

Something akin to a giggle bubbled from his chest. “I don’t have much affection, but I have even less time.” Your eyes darted around, looking for your next move. “I-,” you grabbed him by the face and kissed him. When you broke the kiss he was staring wide eyed, glasses askew. He opened his mouth to speak and you kissed him again, longer, harder.

He seemed frozen under your mouth, lips taut. Your hands roamed his face, messing up his hair and glasses. Mind reeling. Play the nymph. Be the whore the men always said they hated. Be too strong, too forward, too much and he’ll run off like men do. You could try again another day.

Your hand reached for his lap, his hips instinctively jerking away. Perfect. Men these days can’t get it up for a woman who takes the lead. 

Alastor was entirely unsure what the fuck was happening. You were wildly unpredictable. When you grabbed at his dick, he thought his eyes would cross from the shock. Is this what ‘affection’ meant to you? He couldn’t understand it. Couldn’t understand you. Were you really just lustful? Even after what you’d seen him—

You bit at his bottom lip, pulling slightly. Big eyes looking back at him. Your breath was already running away from you, adrenaline seemingly synonymous with Alastor. Staring up at him, you waited. His move.

It was his turn to blink. He looked off to his left, eyes swinging back to you. With a shrug, he leaned his body back towards yours. His hand slid down the front of your dress; red silk. A deer in the headlights, you tensed. The rare third option; fight, flight, freeze. Soon his fingers were tracing the lace of your stockings, climbing up the garter straps. 

His eyes were studying your face. You didn’t want to give the wrong answer again, but at this point you weren’t sure any answer was right. This was taking a sudden turn and your foot was off the brake. You closed your eyes, opting out of the scrutiny of his stare. His hand met your stomach and began to slip down again. He rested it between your thighs, longer fingers and palm cupping the entirety of your sex.

Alastor struggled to decipher your expression. It was almost like a pout, but more subtle. You hadn’t said stop or pushed him away yet. Was he right? You were just… horny? As his hand slid back up and pried their way into your panties, you trembled.

It had been so long since someone else’s hand was on you. Someone whose hands you genuinely enjoyed, who you wanted to be on you.

Is that right? You wanted him to touch you? 

Maybe it was the stare, or the smile. Probably just the adrenaline.

His hand found its place again, middle finger bending to part your folds and feel your wetness. You whimpered, hand coming to cover your own mouth. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He said it low, a husky tone he didn’t have before.

No. Maybe. You nodded yes.

“Will you be satisfied now? No more tailing me?”

No. Probably not. Another nod.

His finger pushed in, and with a kind of greed you didn't recognize your hips ground down into his palm. He slipped in and out of you with ease. You had no idea when or why you got so wet.

“I always end up dripping around you, Alastor,” you whispered through your fingers. His ring finger joined. Why couldn’t you shut up? Why did you have to bring up, well, the murder?

“A common problem for those I take an interest in.” 

Oh no. You moaned softly into your hand. Sharp mind made dull by his fingers so you didn’t, couldn’t, process his double meaning. 

Oh no. The sounds of footsteps, a pair of lovers sneaking into the park for privacy. You heard their giggles, the sounds of kisses interrupting their walking.

“Shhh”, he breathed into your ear as he worked a third finger into your heat. One knuckle, two knuckles. A whimper. His hand came to press down over your own on your mouth, a second barrier for your mewling. You groaned, the sound coming from your throat.  

Whispers. The silhouette of the two interlopers was visible through the willow’s curtains. You watched from over his shoulder, pussy clenching around him. Three knuckles deep, bottoming out.

Fuck it. You moaned freely into your hand, wiggling down onto his hand. Hips rolling, you let your little sounds of praise flow.

The couple laughed, “That’s the spirit!” A man said, a woman hushing him and pulling him away.

Alastor grinned into your neck, immensely amused. He would have better luck predicting a dice roll than your next move. 

You hadn’t realized how hollow you’d been until now, feeling so full. When alone, you focused on just cumming, fingers on your clit and mind on memories. You never bothered much with anything else.

Your hunger intensified. You wanted more. Both hands reached for his crotch again, finding nothing there for you. You could have cried. How were you a wet mess pressed against a tree and he was soft as a newspaper in a rainstorm?

Your pride stung. Men usually stood at attention around you. A half sob into the air earned you a chuckle from Alastor. “It’s no reflection of you, darling.” His nose nudged your ear lobe, “I need a little different stimulation than most.”

“Do you play for the other team?” You considered how you could momentarily switch. 

A louder laugh, “I don’t have a team.” He leaned back now to look at you. His freehand came to press on your lower stomach, gently pushing your womb down. Your brows knit, why did that feel so good? Hands going to the tree behind you for stability.

“Sure feels like you know how to play. This is-,” his hand switched from thrusting slowly in and out to moving front and back. It sent vibrations up into you. Your eyes rolled close. Shut up. Stop talking. Focus. Close.

He kissed around your open mouth, “Well, it’d be unamerican to not dabble. When necessary, or when the conditions are right.”

Double speak over, “Just tell me what to do to get you to fuck me.”

Alastor’s head fell back as he laughed earnestly, most likely alerting anyone in the immediate area. “Ha! No, this is more fun.”

“Oh fuck you,” you brought a hand around to your throbbing clit to quicken your release.

“Maybe next time, dear.” He took a second, fingers in you sliding around your walls in search of something before finding his place and continuing. Your breath noticeably changed, instead of panting you were practically holding it in. You needed the pressure, you needed something to squeeze that spring of pleasure down so it could snap back. As your face went flush, he kissed at your temple, “You look so pretty in red.”

“Oh god-,” Your head fell onto his chest, your joint effort bringing you to orgasm. 

“A little late on Sunday for prayers, don't you think?”

A tiny scream into his suit pocket, his hand not stopping until your thighs finished twitching around him. Even after his hand stopped moving you gripped him by the wrist and rolled onto his fingers a few more times. The pleasure ebbing but still spiking every time he moved against you. 

Ah, greed. That was it. He understood a little better. This wasn’t lust, not alone.  You were definitely a mix of the two. With a sigh, you released your hold and let him slide out of you. Already you felt lonelier. Already you wished to start over.

With his dry hand he smoothed out your dress. You weren’t ashamed but you suddenly felt too embarrassed to look him the eye. But you did, hearing him hum as he sucked his fingers clean. 

Why were you only ever in his mouth in the strangest ways?

“You always taste so sweet, dear. Now!” You wanted to say something clever and salacious like, ‘there’s more where that came from’ but he didn’t afford you the opportunity. He offered you his hooked arm, “It’s dangerous in the park at night. Let’s get you to a cab and on your way home.”

“Is this a hobby of yours?” Your legs were wobbly but otherwise fine. “Illegal activities in public?”

“Funny, I was just wondering the same of you. Stalking is a crime, dear.”

You bit your lip. “Touché.”

He flagged down a taxi, “Tell him where to go.” You slid into the back seat and half-whispered to the driver. Alastor leaned into the passenger side front window and after paying the man, went to close your door, “You’ve been an entertaining sparring partner. Goodbye, sweetheart.”

With a thud of the door and a growl of the engine, you were driving away from him. You could see him in the rear window. He didn’t dare to move, he didn’t need you following another step of his.

Which was unfortunate for him, as you were already scheming how to find him again.

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @angelicwillows

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

[psychicwavementality]

🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!

EDIT NOV 11 2024: So with recent Niisato interview news that Suo was designed to be a cool Chinese character, I have officially lost all words. Take my post as my "I called it so hard because it was obvious from the start, but I sure do appreciate the extra confirmation" cheer.

I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.

Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.

Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.

Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.

So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.

Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭

Anyway.

In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:

Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—

...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?

why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M

Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:

Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection

O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?

Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)

Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)

To (飛) – Fly or Flight

Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon

Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya

- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible

- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*

*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.

-

1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'

Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.

If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???

Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.

Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!

However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.

Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.

There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.

From Wikipedia:

洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉，在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」，英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外，也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉，甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊（Cercis chinensis）的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別，但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3]，引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。

(Edited MTL):

As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.

The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.

There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).

(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)

2. What does this mean for Suo?

The Lack of '洋 (yang)':

(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)

Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.

In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.

Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.

Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:

There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.

On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.

Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.

Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.

On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)

Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).

Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.

OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.

3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana

In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:

3、倔强坚强

紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强，紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑，就算在阴雨天气，叶片被大风所吹动，不断摇慎态摆，也不会掉落，好似一位倔强的人，永远不会向困难���头，努力拼搏，最终收获成功。

(Edited MTL):

3. Stubborn and strong

The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.

It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:

紫荊花的象徵意義 紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。 在中國傳統文化中，紫荊花還被視為春天的使者，寓意著新生命和新的希望。

(Edited MTL)

The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.

Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:

Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.

They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?

Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...

Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋（すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.

While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.

Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.

The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.

From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.

Bauhinia kappleri:

Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.

Bauhinia acuminata:

The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.

Bauhinia variegata:

1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.

2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.

Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:

在中國文化中，紫色常代表高貴與權力，而洋紫荊���代表了優雅和力量。 此外，洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮，這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。

(Edited MTL)

In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.

I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?

Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕

It's all coming together...

The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟：

This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪

原文/Original:

京兆田真兄弟三人，共议分财。生资皆平均，唯堂前一株紫荆树，共议欲破三片。翌日就截之，其树即枯死，状如火然。真往见之，大愕，谓诸弟曰：“树本同株，闻将分斫，固憔悴，是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜，不复解树。树应声荣茂，兄弟相感，遂和睦如初。

註釋/Glossary

（1）京兆：京城地區。

（2）生資：生活資料。

（3）皆：都。

（4）唯：只有。

（5）破：使之破為。

（6）就：開始。

（7）即：立即；立刻。

（8）狀：形狀；狀態。

（9）然：通假字，同“燃”，燃燒。

（10）翌日：第二天

（11）愕：驚訝。

（12）諸：眾；

（13）斫（zhuó）：砍。

（14）勝：承受；控制。

（15）憔悴：枯死。

（16）故：所以。

（17）解：分解。

（18）其：他家的。

（19） 堂：門。

（20）株：棵。

（21）遂：於是。

句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:

1、翌日就截之：第二天就準備截斷它。

2、狀如火然：形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。

3、樹木同株，聞將分斫，故憔悴，是人不如木也：樹本來是同根的，聽到要砍斷分開，所以枯死了，我們人都不如樹木。

4、樹應聲榮茂：紫荊樹聽到（田真的）話後（立刻）枝葉繁茂（了起來）。

My attempt at an English TL:

In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."

Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.

From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:

Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.

Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.

Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.

OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.

Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.

Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」， you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」

This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.

In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.

Suo and Sappanwood:

Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.

The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.

The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.

Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.

This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...

That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?

4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃

Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).

Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.

Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)

"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man

"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)

"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?

"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.

"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...

"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.

To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!

What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.

The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia

Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.

What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:

Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.

If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.

"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).

"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.

"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.

[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]

"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."

Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.

I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.

The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:

Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山 丁子) = rabbit

Togame Jo (十亀 条) = tortoise

Sako Kouta (佐狐 浩太) = fox

Arima Yukinari (有馬 雪成) = horse

Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼 稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫

(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)

Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊 登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).

Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.

*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh

Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.

Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.

(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)

The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.

It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.

(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)

I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.

Here's some prominent stuff I found:

Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!

Thus Spoke Zarathustra:

An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]

“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.

This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:

It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.

There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:

People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.

From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):

Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.

I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.

Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.

From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.

It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:

I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.

This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:

This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.

And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:

[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.

Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)

5. Final Closing Notes on Suo

So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?

... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.

Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)

u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣，相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.

Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?

Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):

I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg

My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.

6. I Lied

Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.

So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:

AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke

This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端！

...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?

(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.

I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.

Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭

CLASSICAL CHINESE 101

仁：This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷，尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' （君子）in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.

義：this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.

禮：this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.

智：this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.

信：this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.

(Additional) 孝：this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.

To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."

But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.

There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):

惻隱之心：read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.

是非之心：read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.

羞惡之心：read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).

辭讓之心：read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.

There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends

Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:

(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy

(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.

(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.

(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ)，whereas yì is your outward action.

(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.

So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?

(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.

If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).

When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.

You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")

Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:

5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.

^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?

It doesn't end here though...!!!

KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?

What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'

(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)

This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.

Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.

It's still not over though!

Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:

"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment

How self-centered:

顏淵問仁。子曰：「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮，天下歸仁焉。為仁由己，而由人乎哉？」 [1] 顏淵曰：「請問其目。」子曰：「非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰：「回雖不敏，請事斯語矣。」（《顏淵》第十二）

(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)

[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"

[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."

Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.

To teach others [...]:

"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"

"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]

Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...

Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.

Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"

(He's pissed.)

Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.

And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).

For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.

Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:

子曰��「君子病無能焉，不病人之不己知也。」（《衞靈公》第十五）

“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”

子曰：「君子不重則不威；學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改 。」（《學而》第一）

"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."

Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"

"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.

From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.

There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:

“魚，我所欲也，熊掌，亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼， 舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也，義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼， 舍生而取義者也。

"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.

生亦我所欲，所欲有甚於生者，故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡，所惡有甚於死者， 故患有所不辟也。 如使人之所欲莫甚於生，則凡可以得生者，何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者，則凡可以辟患者，何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也，由是則可以辟患而有不為 也，是故所欲有甚於生者，所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也，人皆有之，賢者能勿喪耳。

Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.

Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.

一簞食，一豆羹，得之則生，弗得則死 。

A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.

嘑爾而與之，行道之人 弗受;蹴爾而與之，乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。

Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.

萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不 受，今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為 身死而不受，今為所識窮乏者得我而為之，是亦不可以已乎?此之謂 失其本心。"

What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."

A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.

It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.

To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.

But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.

Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.

Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).

Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)

A possible timeline:

-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.

-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona

-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)

-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them

-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.

...

And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.

It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.

What's up next in Part 2?

I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.

I'll be back in 1 business century!

(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:

Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef

Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS

Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun

Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...

Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc

Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent

Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)

Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)

Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur

Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU

"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024

Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up

Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn

Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎

—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3：57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.

"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024

The Suo Post's TLDR:

"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"

—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.

(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)

[nerdygaymormon]

Scriptures for queer people

I like that the scriptures show life is messy and complicated. God works with really flawed people and they learn to measure up and do amazing things. The scriptures are full of contradictions as people try to figure out God’s will and how it applies in their situation. The scriptures show that God’s people are a mess and often get it wrong. These are the chosen people? In that case, I’m doing alright. 

God is an out-of-the-box thinker who wants to be inclusive. The scriptures teach me that God values a relationship with me, will adjust things so the gospel works for me and my situation, and God can help me do amazing things.

I'm not claiming to be an expert or that people should agree with my interpretations. I'm simply sharing how I am thinking of these verses when I apply my viewpoint and experience as a queer Latter-day Saint

Instead of concentrating on all the specific answers & rules, I look for the overarching themes of the scriptures, I can apply those principles in my life and to my life’s situations. Some principles & teachings are more important than others, we can use the more important ones to help us think about the rest. The Bible emphasizes love, equality, & justice, we can use these to filter which messages are important for us and which should remain in the past as part of ancient cultures. For example, the Biblical principles of loving other people as yourself and treating others how you want to be treated should cause us to dismiss slavery even though the Bible allows it. Would forbidding someone from marrying who they love while allowing yourself that opportunity fit with the Biblical principles of love, equality, & justice? No.

I think most people view the Bible as decidedly anti-queer because certain “clobber passages” are regularly used against queer people. A closer inspection of those “clobber passages” shows when put back in context they’re not quite what people think. For example, ‘don’t have gay sex...as part of worshiping a pagan god.’ For the record, straight sex that is done as worship of another god is also condemned, but nobody goes around saying all straight sex is banned.

The verses people like to use to condemn homosexuality, when put back into their cultural context and original language, they are condemnations of sexual exploitation and abuse which was common in the ancient world. They are not condemnations of loving, consensual same-sex relationships. The marriage doesn't define what marriage is, so how can people claim the Bible is against same-sex marriage?

There’s queer-positive scriptures that are usually ignored because they don’t fit the anti-queer narrative people want the Bible to have.  

We’re also taught in Matthew 7 that good principles don’t bring forth bad results (“a good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit”). If teachings are bringing forth bad outcomes for a whole group of people, then we should discard those, they aren’t good.

It's sad to me that so much of modern Christianity identity is about being against LGBTQ people and against abortion when those things are not condemned in the Bible, but the Bible goes on and on about forgiving debt, liberating the poor, healing the sick, and loving others. Where are the sermons and Sunday School lessons on forgiving student debt, guaranteeing health care to every person, loving our LGBTQ+ neighbors, and decrying racism? The Bible has a lot to say about protecting women and children. Do we have preach more about queer people and abortions than we do condemning domestic violence, sexual assault, and molestation?

If every Christian church congregation in the United States decided to provide resources to help every child in foster care reconnect with their family or get adopted, each church would need to help only 1 child and there'd be none left in the foster care system. Same for the number of homeless people each church would have to help get into a home for there to be no more homeless people. Christians could transform the nation and the world if they actually applied the lessons taught by Jesus.

————————————————————

Genesis 1 & 2 - Adam & Eve AND Adam & Steve : The purpose of this story isn’t to discount being gay or trans, in fact queerness fits into this story

Genesis 2 - Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil : Humans have been messing up what to do with the concept of good & evil. Gender roles are a result of the Fall

Genesis 3:20; Genesis 17:5 & 15; Genesis 32:28; Numbers 13:16; Matthew 16:17-18 - Changing Names : The Bible has much to teach about our obligation to respect a person’s name

Genesis 4:9-10 - Your Brother’s Blood Cries Out to Me from the Ground : The blood of queer people is crying from the ground

Genesis 6:9 - Noah’s obedience led to destruction : Kindness & inclusion are more important than obedience

Genesis 7:2-3 - Noah and the Ark : Some people point to the animals on the ark as proof God only honors male/female pairings, however for many animals Noah didn’t just bring 2 of them but 14, which offers opportunities for diversity

Genesis 9:13-16 - Rainbow : Queer people carry the promise of the rainbow

Genesis 9:20-27 - Noah & Ham : It’s wrong to use this passage to justify the enslavement of people, and to be against love between consenting gay adults

Genesis 12:1-3 : A blessing to all families - If we choose to harm rather than to bless queer families, then we are not the people of God

Genesis 16 - Hagar : We may still be required to deal with difficult situations, but we have a God who hears us, a God who knows us

Genesis 19:1-11 - Sodom & Gomorrah : It’s ironic THIS story is used against queer people when its message is the opposite

Genesis 19:26 - Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt : She became a memorial to the destruction of two cities and likewise we need to witness and bear record of the suffering and marginalization of queer people

Genesis 21 - Hagar, Part 2 : God finds all of us in the wilderness

Genesis 22 - Rejection of Ishmael and Binding of Isaac : We aren’t asked to sacrifice our queer children, doing so may cut us off from God

Genesis 25 - Jacob & Esau : The great blessing didn’t belong to the manly man but to the effeminate one

Genesis 34 - Rape of Dinah & the Response : Diverse viewpoints are needed in positions of power & decision making

Genesis 38 - Tamar : It is a sin to deny people fair treatment & they are justified to find solutions when basic rights are denied

Genesis 37-46 - Joseph Sold by his Brothers into Slavery : Life gets better and there may come a time for forgiveness and reconciliation

Genesis - The Bible teaches that wealth is destructive

Exodus 1 - Pharaoh Seeks to Murder the Hebrew Baby Boys : The right thing is to defy the oppressors in order to protect the innocent and the vulnerable

Exodus 3:14 - I AM THAT I AM : I am who I am

Exodus 3:15 - The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob : Why not say “the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob”?

Exodus 10: 7-11, 24-26 - Passover is an annual reminder that we do not negotiate at the expense of others : Civil rights aren’t to be given sparingly, we fight for all.

Leviticus 18:5 & Ezekiel 20:11 - Doing what You Need to Live : Living is more important than obeying commandments

Leviticus 18, 20 - Lie with a Man as with a Woman : These verses forbid Jews from engaging in male-male sex done as part of pagan worship

Numbers 9:1-14 - Second Passover : God finds ways to include people

Numbers 21:6-9 - The Brass Serpent : The people’s tradition of not worshiping idols made them misunderstand what God wanted from them. What traditions do we have that blind us from what God wants for us?

Deuteronomy 22:5 - Cross Dressing : This verse isn’t about performing drag or living as a trans person, it’s meant to avoid harming others

Deuteronomy 23:17 - Whores and Sodomites : The word “sodomite” is used for male prostitutes

Lessons from Moses’ life for Queer Folks

Judges 4-5 - Deborah : A woman prophet? What else is possible?

Judges 19 - Murder of the Levite’s Concubine : Despite this horrific story, we don’t condemn heterosexuals & heterosexuality

Ruth & Naomi : The Bible celebrates this relationship of 2 women

1 Samuel 16:7 - The Lord Looketh on the Heart : Gender & orientation are matters of the heart and God knows us for who we are

Jonathan & David : The possibility this is a same-sex relationship blessed by God is why this story has been a favorite of queer Christians

1 Kings 14:24; 1 Kings 15:12; 1 Kings 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7 - Sodomites : The Hebrew Bible condemns worshiping a different god

Esther : By ‘coming out,’ Esther changed how the king viewed a marginalized group, and gender non-conforming people are the unsung heroes of this story

Book of Job : God had a different path for Job, and queer believers know God has a path for us

Psalms 27 - With the Lord’s Strength, We don’t need to Fear : The Lord won’t abandon us even if our parents do

Psalms 126:5 - Shall Reap in Joy : Life gets better

Psalms 133:1-3 - How Pleasant it is for Brethren to Dwell Together in Unity 

Psalms 139:13-14 - I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made : Our sexual orientation & gender identity is woven throughout our bodies

Proverbs 6:16-19 - The 7 Things the Lord Hates : Being Queer ain’t on the list

Isaiah 3:9 - Declare their Sin as Sodom : Sodom’s sins are not taking care of the poor or visitors & not feeling guilt for committing sins (notice being gay isn’t one of the sins of Sodom)

Isaiah 43:1 - I have Called Thee by Thy Name; Thou art Mine : God is with us no matter whether our church is

Isaiah 51:1-2 - Abraham and Sarah are Intersex? : A traditional Jewish understanding for why they’re infertile is that they were intersex

Isaiah 54:2 - Enlarge the place of thy tents, and let them stretch forth the curtains : We need to make room for not just more people but for more diversity 

Isaiah 56:3-7 - Eunuchs Welcomed by God : God’s way is radical inclusiveness, God doesn’t marginalize people

Jeremiah 1:5 - Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee : You are not a mistake. God loves you and intentionally made you into who you are

Jeremiah 16:1-2 - God tells the prophet Jeremiah not to marry nor have a family : How does this fit with the Latter-day Saint idea of exaltation where marriage is required? Maybe we need to expand our vision of heaven

Jeremiah 29:1, 4-7, 11 - God Plans to Give You Hope and a Future: God’s plan includes blessing & prospering You

Ezekiel 16:49-50 - Two types of forbidden things, To’evah is forbidden for Jews and Zimah is an injustice or a sin : The gay sex acts prohibited in Leviticus 18:22 & Leviticus 20:13 are to’evah, not forbidden for anyone but the Israelites

Daniel - Daniel & Ashpenaz : God supports a loving gay relationship

Hosea 6:6 - God desires mercy, not burnt offerings : True religion isn’t about practicing rituals, it’s about extending love and mercy

Joel 2:28 - Restoration of Gospel Leads to an Increase in Knowledge : Science is providing knowledge about queer people

Amos 5:23-24 - God Wants Justice, Not Our Hymns : Enough with the talk, let’s enact real change to achieve justice

Micah 6:8 - the prophet says, "What does the Lord require of you?" Are we to kill our enemies because God is vengeful? No!!! That's not what Micah says. "To do justice, to do kindness, and to walk humbly with God." That is the whole point for the prophet Micah." : Are we just & kind to our queer siblings?

Malachi 4:6 - The human family is going to be united : if queer people are excluded then the whole is cursed

Socially Queer Jesus & Disciples : Queerness fits naturally with the life and teachings of Jesus Christ

Matthew 1 & Luke 3 - Jesus’ genealogy : Think what it this means for chosen family 

Matthew 1 : Joseph chose mercy over the Law - Joseph preserved Mary’s dignity and life

Matthew 2:1-12 : The Magi visit the Christchild : The Magi knew of the Savior’s birth but not those who read the Hebrew Bible. Knowledge, wisdom, and truth come from many sources and those inside a religion may be blind to what is apparent to others 

Matthew 4 - Denying Identity is a Tactic of the Devil : Understanding who we are is an important part of facing the challenges of life

Matthew 5:30 : And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee : if a church continues teaching queerphobic things, it may be necessary to cut it from your life in order to survive and thrive

Matthew 5:21-48 - Ye have heard that it was said...But I say unto you : Jesus is saying this text has been interpreted one way, but He is giving a better way. With all that God taught about loving others and about all being alike unto God, what is a better way to interpret how we treat and love queer people?

Matthew 5:43-48 - Love Your Enemies : These verses refute the idea that the two great commandments to Love God and to Love Our Neighbor are in conflict 

Matthew 6:9-13 - The Lord’s Prayer : We’re meant to build heaven on earth. There’s an idea that queer people will no longer be queer when they die and then can have joy and all the blessings. That’s wrong! We’re to have joy in THIS life. We’re to have justice in THIS life. We’re to have all the blessings in THIS life. We’re to be treated alike in THIS life. 

Matthew 6:27 - Can’t change your height or extend your life just by thinking about it : Queerness is not something we can simply choose to change. Thoughts, prayer, & faith aren’t going to change this part of who we are 

Matthew 7:9-12, 16-20 - If his Son Asks for Bread, Will He Give Him a Stone? : Our Heavenly Father is more liberal in his views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive

Matthew 8:2-3 - Jesus touched the leper : Contact with queer people heals others of their anti-queer bigotry, which leads to the question of who actually needs to be healed? 

Matthew 8:5-13 - The Centurion and his ‘Servant’ : Jesus holds up a gay man as an example of faith for all to follow

Matthew 9:18-26; Mark 5:21-34; Luke 8:41-56 - Woman touched the hem of Jesus’ garment : She persisted in getting what she needed. Queer people have to persist to get what they need

Matthew 10:29-31 - God knows of every sparrow that falls to the grown and has numbered every hair of your head. You are worth more than many sparrows : You can trust that God isn’t squandering souls, isn’t creating queer people while simultaneously condemning them for being queer

Matthew 12:50 - Who does Jesus proclaim as brother, sister, and mother? : Chosen Families

Matthew 13:24-30 - Parable of the Wheat and the Tares : This parable teaches that the wheat and the tares can’t be separated until the very end. That to pull up tares would also uproot the wheat. Whichever one we are, we’re inseparable from each other. We can’t remove them without removing ourselves. Only Christ can tell them apart and will separate them. However, a lot of people think they can tell, and unsurprisingly, they always think they’re the wheat, and often they assume queer people are the tares

Matthew 14:22-23 - Peter Walks on Water : Queer people need to believe in ourselves, that’s when miracles happen

Matthew 15:7-14 - But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men : Some churches are misguided and teach the biases of humans rather than God’s message of love

Matthew 15:10-20 - The things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them : Racist, transphobic, and homophobic words make us unworthy

Matthew 15:21-28 - Yet the Dogs Eat of the Crumbs which Fall from their Master’s Table : God’s love is so expansive it can surprise and stretch even Jesus Christ 

Matthew 17:1-9; Luke 9:28-43 - Jesus Comes Out : Jesus revealed the deepest truth about Himself to His closest friends

Matthew 18:6 - Do not Offend the Little Ones who Believe : Being queer isn’t the problem, it’s the church experience that is broken and defective

Matthew 19:5-12 - Marriage & Eunuchs : Jesus declares men who aren’t attracted to women are exempt from a male+female marriage

Matthew 19:16-23 - Obey the commandments to have eternal life : There is no commandment to live a heteronormative life

Matthew 20:1-16 - Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard : Queer people are relying on the goodness of the Master to bless us the same as others

Matthew 21:18-22; Mark 11:12-25 - Jesus curses the fig tree : The only time Jesus cursed a fig tree was for not being fruity enough, maybe we should contemplate on that as we consider how to love our LGBTQ+ neighbors

Matthew 21:31 - The Publicans and the Harlots go into the Kingdom of God before You : Church leaders are setting themselves up to go from ‘First’ to ‘Last’

Matthew 21-27; Mark 11-15; Luke 19-23; John 12-19 - Final Week of Jesus’ Life : Many lessons from Jesus’ life apply to queer lives

Matthew 22:23-32 - When His disciples asked about marriage and about whose wife someone will be when they reach heaven, this was Jesus’ answer, “You are in error because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage, they will be like the angels in heaven.” : Sounds like no heterosexuality in heaven. Sorry.

Matthew 22:36-40 - The 2 Great Commandments

Matthew 23:37 - Even as a Hen Gathereth her Chickens under her Wings : Jesus uses feminine pronouns and imagery to illustrate His role

Matthew 25:1-13 - Parable of the 10 Virgins : the foolish bridesmaids listened to those who said they weren’t worthy to meet the groom

Matthew 25:14-30 - Parable of the Talents : telling queer people not to “act” on their queerness is akin to telling us to bury our talent and to go back to the Lord without doing anything with it

Matthew 25:31-46 - Jesus will use how I Treat Others to Determine if I Inherit his Blessings : Mistreating queer people isn’t a qualifier for Christ’s blessings

Garden of Gethsemane : Asking for help & seeking emotional support is Christlike

Easter : Jesus' resurrection can be read as a coming out story. Jesus came out into a changed body and new way of life. Likewise, queer people come out into a new identity and can never go back to what it was before. Others may look back and see your empty tomb that contains your deadname & the misgendered identity of how they saw you, but they'll also see your life reborn as you move forward in your new identity.

Mark 1:10-11 - God Knows Us, We aren’t a Mistake : Many queer people get messages of love from God

Mark 1:32 - Jesus is teaching that under certain circumstances it’s okay to break the rules about the Sabbath.

Mark 2:1-13 - Friends Lower a Paralyzed Man through the Roof to be Healed by Jesus : Better to break the house than to break the person

Mark 2:15 - Jesus invited sinners & disciples to His house and fed them : We also can invite people to our homes for meals as a way to show we love them and want them in our lives. As Ben Schilaty likes to say, “Love the sinner, invite them to dinner.”

Mark 2:27 - The Sabbath was Made for Man, not Man for the Sabbath : We don’t have to break ourselves against the commandments. They’re for our benefit, not our harm

Mark 9:17-27 - This is a story of demonic possession which causes the individual to act in strange ways, and when the demon(s) is cast out the person is healed : Today we use medicine and counseling because we understand diseases and mental health issues. When we know better, we should do better.

Mark 10:46-52 - Ask People Questions and Listen : “We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing”

Mark 12:30-31 - Love God and Love People : There’s no greater commandments. How do we love queer people, and do they recognize how we treat them as love?

Mark 12:41-44; Luke 21:1-4 - The Widow’s Mite : Jesus condemns making the widow impoverished and the same applies to queer people who are asked to sacrifice all they are

Mark 13:24-37 - Fig Tree’s Leaves Show Summer is Near : Members are trying to build a church that’s more inclusive of LGBTQ+ people. Maybe summer isn’t near, but perhaps it is Spring as it seems the winter chill is thawing

Luke 1:27 - Mary is a virgin : The Greek term parthenos normally referred to an unmarried woman of marriageable age, because in their society an unmarried female typically hadn’t yet had sex. As a missionary, I learned the Korean language does the same thing, all unmarried women of marriageable age can be referred to as a virgin, even though some unmarried women have had sex. But if we keep with the tradition that Mary was in fact a virgin as we think of that term in English, and she did not conceive through ordinary means but through the Holy Spirit she produced an offspring without a human father, then that raises some interesting questions. For example, the Y chromosome is inherited from the biological father, which calls into question how is Jesus a male? Could this suggest Jesus is trans?

Luke 1:37 - Nothing is impossible with God...except for LGBTQ+ people getting into the Celestial Kingdom, at least that’s what some Christians believe

Luke 1:78-79 - Give Light to Them that Sit in Darkness : Going from the darkness of the closet to the dayspring when we learn our Heavenly Parents love us

Luke 2; Matthew 1:18-25 - Nativity Story : Queer people can see ourselves in this story

Luke 2:52 - Jesus Increased in Wisdom and Stature, and in Favour with God and Man : Jesus didn’t marry, as a church we need to reprioritize what is important 

Luke 3:12-14 - Jesus was able to meet people where they were at. He didn't ask the Roman soldiers to stop being a Roman Soldier. Jesus told him to be just and virtuous in his soldier duties. How does this apply to queer people?

Luke 3:23 - Jesus began His ministry at age 30 : There’s no rush, come out when you’re ready

Luke 4:16-30 - No prophet is accepted in his own country : Jesus understands the hardships & joys of ‘coming out’

Luke 4:17-21 - What did Jesus come to do? : Do we liberate or oppress queer people? Do we share God’s abundance with them or withhold it?

Luke 7:36-50 - Woman who Anoints Jesus’ Feet : Queer people’s tears wash Jesus’ feet 

Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan : Members of the church avoid the injured man, or perhaps are even the ones who hurt him

Luke 13:24-30 - The First Shall be Last and the Last First : We’re gonna be surprised at who gets into heaven

Luke 14:15 - an ass or an ox fallen into a pit : Under some circumstances it’s okay to break a commandment/covenant

Luke 15:1-7 - The Lost Sheep : The 99 sheep are also sinners but they think it’s just the 1 who is lost

Luke 15:8-10 - The Lost Coin : The woman’s joy at being reunited with her lost coin is like God’s joy at being reunited with a queer person.

Luke 15:11-32 - The Prodigal Son : Queer People go on a journey similar to the Prodigal Son

Luke 17:34-35 - One Shall be Taken, and the Other Shall be Left : There shall be two men in one bed; two women shall be ‘grinding’ together, some of them are saved and some aren’t

Luke 22:10 - A Man Carrying a Pitcher of Water : A man not conforming to gender norms is mentioned without any negative connotation

Luke 22:33-34 - Paul will deny Jesus 3 times : What if Jesus tells Paul to deny Him so that he would live to lead the church? Queer people sometimes deny being queer in order to be safe (especially when they’re in the closet)

Luke 22:50-51 - After Peter Slices Off a Man’s Ear, Jesus says “No More of This!” and Heals the Man’s Ear : One day Jesus will say to those who harm queer people, “No more of this!”

John 1:11 - His own received him not : Many queer people experience being rejected by their families and loved ones

John 3:16 - Whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life : Despite what some teach, Jesus didn’t come to earth to condemn us, but to save us. Unfortunately, some Christians add “unless you’re queer, in which case you can’t have eternal life”

John 4 - Jesus meets a woman at a well and points out she has had 5 husbands and now lives with a man to whom she is not married : What’s interesting is Jesus doesn’t call her to repent or command her to stop sinning. Contrast this with purity culture. 

John 6:37-39 - I Shall Lose None of all Those He has Given Me : The Church may cast out, but Jesus does not

John 8:2-11 - Woman Caught in Adultery : Jesus stood with the woman, not the religious leaders

John 9:1-3 - Who sinned, the blind man or his parents? : We all have inherent value and should be respected and loved

John 10:10 - I am Come that They Might have Abundant Life : A Harvard Study found Relationships are key to happiness, as are having good health, being educated, having coping skills, and giving back to the community. This is how to have joy, don’t deny this to queer people. 

John 11:43 - Jesus Helps Lazarus to Come Out : Coming out of the closet can feel like going from being dead to coming back to life, or to being fully alive

John 13:23 - John, whom Jesus Loved, is Laying against Jesus’ Breast : Could John & Jesus be in a same-sex relationship?

John 13:26 - Jesus feeds Judas : Jesus never excluded Judas, Judas excludes himself. So why does the church exclude queer people and treat us as enemies?

John 13:35 - By This Shall Men Know Ye are my Disciples if Ye have Love One to Another : To be Christian is to love others, including LGBTQIA+ people

John 14:1-3 - “In my Father's house are many mansions...” : Christ doesn’t tell queer people there’s not a place for us

John 20:15 - Supposing Him to be the Gardner : Jesus is our Gardner

Acts 1:15 - Peter has a dream where God commands him to consume food that his religion considers “unclean.” Peter is reminded that it’s God who gets to declare what is clean and may even contradict the law : This passage shows that God’s promises and beloved community are not defined by our own rules or boundaries, or even by our understanding of God’s law. God is constantly drawing us to love our neighbors

Acts 8:26-39 - Apostle Baptizes Eunuch into the Church : The early Church welcomed queer people. When will the modern Church allow queer people to fully participate?

Acts 10:15 - What God Hath Cleansed, that Call not thou Common : People who were traditionally excluded are welcome

Acts 10:34 - Peter declared “God shows no partiality”

Acts 17:28 - God has a Womb : Do we use the image of God to see the Divine in all of us or do we use God to diminish others?

Romans 1:20 - To Know God, Look at the Things God Created : What does the diversity of different sexual orientations & gender identities tell us about God?

Romans 1:26-27 - Vile Affections : People use this against gays, but it’s really directed at straight people

Romans 8:38-39 - Nothing Separates us from God’s Love : Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Not church leaders, not metaphorical muskets, not the church

Romans 10:12 - There is no distinction between Jew & Greek, the same Lord is the Lord of all, bestowing riches on all who call on Him

Romans 13:10 - Love Does no Wrong to Others : If church is causing harm, then it is not doing the work of Christ and God

1 Corinthians 1:27-28 - God Chose the Lowly Things of this World : Things look different from the margins than they do from the center

1 Corinthians 3:16 - You are the temple of God : The actual temple is our bodies and it's beautiful the way transgender people get to co-create with God in building their temple 

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 - We’re often told not to judge others and not to let others judge us, but it’s easy to forget we shouldn’t shouldn’t judge ourselves. Work hard, do your best, and let yourself be forgiven. When we repent, the Lord forgives and forgets all of our transgressions so we should allow ourselves the same peace of mind. Stop beating yourself up, It’s okay, let it go

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - The Unrighteous Shall Not Inherit the Kingdom of God : No one believes Paul is condemning sex between heterosexual couples as unrighteous, we shouldn’t assume He’s condemning relationships between people of the same gender

1 Corinthians 7 - We Shouldn’t Force Ourselves to be Celibate if We have Sexual Desires, Instead We Should Channel our Sexual Appetites within Marriage : A great argument for Christians to accept & celebrate gay marriages

1 Corinthians 12:12-13 - All the Members are One Body : The church needs its LGBTQ+ members, without us the body of the church is incomplete

1 Corinthians 14:10-13 - So Many Kinds of Voices in the World : It takes every voice for the choir to sound beautiful, no one is without significance

1 Corinthians 15:41 - Glory of the Sun, Moon and Stars : The sun, moon and stars all appear in the same sky. Could this mean we’ll all be together?

Galatians 2:1-5 - Gentiles are not Required to become Jews : Gentiles are accepted as they are and not forced to lose their identity by becoming Jews. Likewise queer people should be accepted as we are and not required to live as cisgender straight people

Galatians 3:28 - Ye Are All One in Christ Jesus : The scriptures say that all our diversity is welcome by Christ

Galatians 5:22-23 - There is No Law Against Love : The law doesn’t distinguish between gay and straight love

Ephesians 5:22-33 - A marriage between a man and a wife is used to symbolize Christ’s relationship with the church : If the church is made up of its members, we are the bride of Christ, we are in a marriage relationship with Christ. Which is an interesting concept for cis hetero men, they’re in a same-sex marriage with Jesus

Colossians 3:9-11 - There is not Greek & Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, slave & free, we’re all one in Christ : We can continue this metaphor to say there is not difference between cis & trans, or gay and straight, you’re all one in Christ

1 Timothy 1:8-10 - Whoremongers...Them that Defile Themselves with Mankind...Menstealers : Condemnation of men who use boy prostitutes, and the slave dealers who procured the young boys and sold them into prostitution, in other words a condemnation of pedophiles, not as some claim of all homosexuals

1 Timothy 3:2 - Husbands of One Wife : Paul is not trying to address questions about sexual orientation or gay marriage in this verse

2 Timothy 3:1-3 - Without natural affection : Hateful, shaming, rejecting behavior by a parent to a queer child certainly sounds like the opposite of “natural affection” and was prophesied in the New Testament

1 Timothy 4:1-5 - Forbidding to marry : This is about people in the congregation leaving the faith because of what’s taught at the pulpit, teachings which happen to not be in line with God’s will . If you're against people of consenting age getting married, it seems like this is a test to show who's on the wrong side.

James 1:27 - Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world : Pure religion is not about hiding away in an ivory tower and discussing eternal truths--it's about being out in the world and living those truths by caring for people. We can come closest to Christ not by studying and memorizing His words but by loving the way He loved "that when he shall appear we shall be like him" (Moroni 7:48).

1 John 4:7-8 - He that Loveth not, Knoweth not God; for God is Love : Any genuine love comes from God. Unfortunately, Christians have created many laws against love

1 John 4:20 - If you hate others then you don’t love God : Quote this verse to any Christian who is yelling scriptures at you for being queer

Jude 1:7 - Going after Strange Flesh : Some use this to condemn homosexuality, but what would be the word for a married person going after “strange flesh,” aka “another flesh”? Adultery!

Revelation 4:1-4 - There’s a Rainbow Around the Throne of God : Confirmation that queer people make it to heaven

1 Nephi 2:2 - God tells Lehi to leave the land given to his ancestors, leave behind the temple, leave behind extended family, and go on a new path : Many queer people also get this message, to leave behind the church, the temple, and the community which are hurting them

1 Nephi 4:6-19 - Nephi Kills Laban : What does it tell us about God that He is chill with murder but not two men or two women in love? Maybe it’s the believers that are mixing up what is okay and what is not

1 Nephi 8 - When Lehi tastes the fruit of the tree, which symbolizes the pure love of Christ, he wants his family to experience it with him : God’s love isn’t meant to be experienced alone

1 Nephi 16:2 - the guilty take the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center : The truth about how church hurts queer people can be hard for believers to hear 

1 Nephi 16:10, 26-29 - Liahona : They had the Brass Plates, but that wasn’t enough. 

2 Nephi 2:25 - Adam Fell that Men Might Be; and Men are that They Might have Joy : A Harvard study found relationships are key to happiness, also helpful are good coping skills and giving back to the community. This is how to have joy

2 Nephi 26:33 - All are Alike Unto God : When will the Church embrace all people?

2 Nephi 31:20 - Love of all men : those who try to make sure they don’t love us too much so that it’s clear they don’t condone all our choices, they are breaking the commandments.

Jacob 5 - Allegory of the Olive Tree : Fruitful trees start producing bad fruit and wild olive branches are grafted in : It’s interesting that good fruit comes from margins of the vineyard, which is not the expected place. The Lord operates in places those in the center don’t even know about

Omni - Two Queer Authors? : This book is written by 5 different men, 2 of them have no sons to whom they could hand it down. Could that be it's because they’re queer?

Mosiah 3:19 - Putteth off the natural man : It’s natural to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from you. Try putting off your natural reaction and learn to see as God does.

Mosiah 9 - Zeniff sees beyond the biased teachings : It’s hard to hate people up close

Alma 7:11-12 - That He May Know How to Succor his People : The atonement lets Jesus know how to help us

Alma 17:24-25 - Ammon & King Lamoni : They love each other

Alma 19 - Abish : Abish was closeted, God used her to upend social norms

Alma 32:9-10 - What Shall We Do? For We are Cast Out of Our Synagogues : Queer people can worship God whether we’re allowed at church or the temple

Alma 34:34 - We’re still queer when we’re resurrected

Alma 37:6 - Who are the small and simple? : Queer people who were considered small and simple were the ones strong enough to break the rules of masculinity and femininity which made it safe for the strong and powerful to come out as queer

Alma 41:10 : Wickedness never was happiness : What makes you joyful is not wicked

Alma 53:2 - Captain Moroni and General Lehi : Could Moroni and Lehi love each other as more than just as friends and soldiers, but as family?

Alma 56:16-17 - Helaman and the 2000 young warriors show up and boost the soldiers’ morale : I can easily imagine feeling beat up and defeated by the nonsense of church folk, and then the arrival of a few more queer people would lift me up and feel like those who be with us are brave and fabulous and what we have is worth defending and affirming.

Alma 60:5-10 - Captain Moroni’s opening words could be a cry of marginalized people and a damning indictment of complicity or participation in their oppression

Ether 6 - Jaredite Barges are Driven by the Winds to the Promised Land : All 8 barges made it to the Promised Land and each made a separate journey

Ether 12:4 - Hope for a Better World : What would a better world look like? A place where we’re all treated alike and allowed personal dignity

Ether 12:27 - I Make Weak Things Become Strong Unto Them : To become strong, people must acquire a positive self image

3 Nephi 28 - The 3 Nephites : Could they be queer? It’s a possibility

Doctrine and Covenants 1 - Purpose of revelations to Joseph Smith : How is the church doing in these purposes in regards to queer people? 

Doctrine and Covenants 38:25-27 - If Ye are not One Ye are not mine : Bad news for the homophobes, transphobes, and all those who oppose their queer siblings

Doctrine and Covenants 46:3-6 - Don’t Cast People out of Church Meetings : Don’t cast out queer people but instead provide a place that is safe, welcoming and inclusive

Doctrine and Covenants 49:15-17 - Whoso Forbiddeth to Marry is not ordained of God : This is a rejection of requiring life-long celibacy and affirms that getting married is approved by the Lord

Doctrine and Covenants 74 - Sometimes apostles teach their own opinions as commandments : Sometimes apostles actually are teaching things opposite of the Lord’s will 

Doctrine and Covenants 78:5-6 - If Ye are not Equal in Earthly Things Ye cannot be Equal in Obtaining Heavenly Things : We could seal gay couples today if we wanted to, that would help make things equal on earth.

Doctrine and Covenants 93:33-34 - Fulness of Joy Contingent on Connectedness of Spirit & Body : Transitioning can be part of a person’s journey towards godliness

Doctrine and Covenants 121:41 - Priesthood doesn’t give Authority and Power over Others : It’s how you treat others

Doctrine and Covenants 128:18 - We cannot be pro-family and anti-LGBTQ+ at same time : Everyone talking about being exalted without their LGBTQ+ family members WON’T BE.  If same-gender couples and trans people aren’t exalted, NO ONE will be. 

Doctrine and Covenants 130:2 - And that Same Sociality which Exists among Us Here will Exist among Us in Eternity : Love will prevail

Doctrine and Covenants 131 - Eternal Life : Nothing in this section excludes queer people from obtaining Eternal Life

Doctrine and Covenants 132 - New and Everlasting Covenant : There’s no reason to think queer relationships were meant to be excluded from being sealed

Doctrine and Covenants 137:7-9 - We will be Judged According the Desires of our Heart : Queer people will not be judged for not completing opportunities not open to us

Moses 6:31 - Enoch doesn’t See Himself as God Does : When queer people accept ourselves it opens 1000 doors of possibility

Moses 7:28-40 - What makes God weep? : God weeps when we don’t have love for one another

Joseph Smith--History - God can be found outside church

Articles of Faith 2 - Adam’s Transgression : Elder Oaks classifies gay marriage as a transgression, not a sin. What are the implications of that?

Articles of Faith 8 - Scriptures only as Good as the Translation and Interpretation : Has the Church & Christianity been interpreting scriptures using fear, ignorance, and personal bias in a way that’s harmful to queer people?

Articles of Faith 13 - Doing Good to All Men : Harming queer people and denying them the promises & blessings made to others is the opposite of what this church claims to believe

Proclamation on the Family - It doesn’t say what most people assume it does. Queer people aren’t discussed at all in this document

Criteria by which Christ will Evaluate our Lives

[linnienin]

🌛A s t e r o i d ⁕ S a l o m è🌜 ( 5 6 2 ) and the Dance of the Seven Veils

~~~~~~~~~~~ Y o u r ⁕ e n c h a n t i n g ⁕ e n e r g y ~~~~~~~~~~~

An astro walkthrough post following Salomè's steps in the Dance of the Seven Veils through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins.

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The gifs in this post (excluded the last one) were created by me and are from the movie "Salomè" (1953) with Rita Hayworth

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"Look at the moon! How strange the moon seems! She is like a woman rising from the tomb. She is like a dead woman. You would fancy she was looking for dead things."

"Salomè", Oscar Wilde

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W h o ⁕ i s ⁕ S a l o m è (quick summary of her story):

⁕ Salomè, the princess of Judaea, falls in love with the prophet John The Baptist (i'll refer to him as 'the prophet' to avoid repeating his name too much) and orders to free him from the prison he was held in (for condemning the marriage of Salome's parents, King Herod and his wife Herodias as unlawful)

⁕ The prophet rejects her, but she assures him she will kiss his mouth sooner or later, no matter what.

⁕ Salome's mother in the meantime convinces her daughter to view the prophet as an evil person that deserves to die (alimenting her fresh feeling from the rejection)

⁕ When Salomè is asked by her stepfather king Herod (who lusts over her) to dance she agrees only if she can asks anything in return.

⁕ Once the dance's over, Salomè requests the decapitated head of John the Baptist on a silver plate.

⁕ To the horror of all the partecipants, she finally kisses the mouth of the prophet consumed by her lustful desires.

⁕ King Herod, sickened and shocked, orders her execution.

(this is the William Shakespeare opera version based on the biblical one)

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M y ⁕ i n t e r p r e t a t i o n :

In a birth chart Asteroid Salomè represents:

⁕ Your enchanting power

⁕ How people target your naivety to use your talent

⁕ The extremes you're ready to face in order to get what you want.

⁕ What you want but can't have

⁕ What desires consumes you

I also want to make a quick clarification between asteroid Salomè and Sirene because both are seducing and mesmerizing energies, but imo: Sirene : conscious type of seduction, aim for what they want, in control of their actions , calculated Salomè: unconscious type of seduction, influenced by others in their choices, controlled by their desires, not in control of themselves

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

P o s t ⁕ g u i d e:

I'll go through the steps of the whole Dance and make them into little sections:

⁕ Every section is about one of the Seven Deadly Sins ⁕ Within every section there will be interpretations of different Salomè signs/degrees, depending on which Sins they fall into (in my personal opinion)

Disclaimer: every single sign could fall into every single sin since they're all part of human nature, but one would always prevail on others imo, and this is just my personal take on them.

Enjoy ✨

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

1 s t ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : P R I D E

⁕ Leo Salomè/Salomè at 5°-17°-29° : You enchant with your confidence and talent. Your creativity allows you to shine from within and make a strong impression on people.

⁕ You draw attention to yourself easily, and others envy this, so they target your individuality to trigger the worst out of you. They want to robb you of your 'Main character' type of energy, using your exposition and will to take up space, to their own interest. They feed your ego only to break your mirror into several pieces later, leaving you not recognizing yourself anymore. You'll find yourself becoming riddiculous just to gain that attention again, blending with the masses for validation, but feeling extremely guilty and shameful about it. This is how they trigger your pride. ⁕ You have a great desire to be able to show yourself without getting judged. You want to dive deep into your creative mind and feel accepted and appreciated for your dramatic and showy persona. When people don't understand your needs, you can get arrogant, narcissistic and selfish .

⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓

⁕ Aquarius Salomè/Salomè at 11°-23°: You enchant with your uniqueness and innovation. Your mindblowing perspectives draws people in and out of curiosity, and you release them with more confusion and even more questions, to trap them in getting back to you.

⁕ You know this is your strategy to create multiple connections and dodge your way to the top, but envious people want to stop you from climbing up that ladder. They'll use you and your network for their own interests, but turning their back to you once they get what they want. This is how they trigger your pride. ⁕ When no one truly deeply understand you, your different view and quirky personality, you start to doubt your identity, facing the negative effects of feeling like the black sheep. You lose the courage to stand up for yourself as you isolate from the world with no track of time and completely dissociating from reality. You become inexistent, cause you won't merge with the masses. A great desire to instill change and put reality in discussion burns in you, but if people keep overlooking your ideas, you just explode and can become rebellious, distant and unpredictable.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

2 n d ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : G R E E D

⁕ Capricorn Salomè/Salomè at 10°-22° : You enchant with your loyalty and perseverance. Your disciplined and committed persona inspire people, but they also get envious of all the accomplishments you've achieved with such resiliency.

⁕ You view life simply and clearly, this is what allows you to be so precise with no hesitation when making important choices. And because this is such a rare quality, people want to robb you of it and use it for themselves and their interests. However, you base your self worth on materialism and achievements and when people don't validate them, you only want to get more to prove yourself. This is how others target your weeknesses and trigger your greed. ⁕ They show you the best of everything to make you feel inferior and in consequence wanting it all. But the truth is you don't need it all to feel complete within. You have a great desire to feel the best and most powerful of all, but because you attach your emotions to the outside and not accept them inside of you out of fear of showing your vulnerabilities, you are therefore not in tune with yourself and you are controlled by the world. You want to become the best version of yourself, but if you don't truly accept your imperfections, you can get dissatisfied, demanding and cold with no way of enjoying life like you envisioned you'd have.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

3 r d ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : L U S T

⁕ Scorpio Salomè/Salomè at 8°-20° : You enchant with your mystery and intensity. Your enigmatic and independent spirit makes you an extremely interesting character everyone wants to get to know.

⁕ You attract unwanted attention, and you are the center topic of everyone's gossipy chitchat. You are people's dream, and everyone envy your subtle popularity, they all want to get a little sip of you. People view you as a prize they want to conquer to make themselves appear bigger. You have a great desire to form deep and meaningful connections, so you give a chance to others in exploring your hidden and vulnerable side, but all they do is take advantage of your thoughtfulness to feed their curiosity and ego, and once they get what they want, they only come back to you when they need a little refresh. This is how they trigger your lust. ⁕ You hide your emotional side because of past wounds, but your intense feelings still need an outlet or else they'd consume you. You need someone that cherish and care for your complexity and is willing to explore the dark without judgements otherwise you'll become insatiable, unfulfilled and uncontrollable, confusing the real profund emotional depth with a toxic emotionless bond based on superficial desires.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

4 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : E N V Y

⁕ Virgo Salomè/Salomè at 6°-18° : You enchant with your skills and intelligence. Your analytical mind and organized approach give you the ability to grasp details and process them in an incredible clear and systematic way.

⁕ People envy your critical thinking and your kind, hardworking nature, so they take advantage of your modesty to use your talents for their interests. You take pride in giving yourself to others to help them out, but when this gets to an extreme and hinders you from developing your own identity, you get stuck in a limbo of constant crave for validation and endless comparisons. This is how your envy gets triggered. ⁕ You look at others' freedom and accomplishments, and you feel guilty you haven't reached that level yet, so you blame yourself for your inability and incompetence, believing you'll never get better and so remain stuck in your delusions. You have a great desire to master your talents and get genuine recognition from yourself and others, but when you don't take on this path, you become fussy, critical and judgemental.

⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓

⁕ Gemini Salomè/Salomè at 3°-15°-27°: You enchant with your wit and sarcasm. Your exceptionally curious mind make you jump on every kind of topic with no shame, letting you explore anything and expanding your horizons making you very clever and articulated.

⁕ You excel in debates and are such a social butterfly, you know how to grasp people's attentions with your words. And well, who wouldn't be envious of such a skill? People use your talents by making you feel like you're guiding them and you have the control over the situation, but then you focus too much on the details that you forget the bigger picture, and this includes you forging your own path and understanding what you truly want from life. Those distractions that people throws at you trigger your envy. ⁕ You look up at the people that make decisions and have a clear idea of what they want to do and you feel jealous of their resolution in walking only one path. You overthink so much you'd love to know how to find peace even for just a second, but you get absorbed in the envy, and at your worst you get gossipy, superficial and inconsistent. You have a great desire of knowing yourself fully, being flexible while also find stability within your flexibility. But if you can't look within and stop comparing with others, you'll never know your truth.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

5 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : G L U T T O N Y

⁕ Libra Salomè/Salomè 7°-19° : You enchant with your charisma and tactfulness. Your cooperative nature and romantic aura enhance your already stunning natural beauty, and people envy this hard core because it appears as you have been blessed with everything by life.

⁕ They take advantage of your agreeable temperament to use you for their interests. So you live your life as a secondary character, always trying to please others but never taking into account your own will. People use this indecisiveness of yours to trigger your gluttony. ⁕ You never feel satisfied because you don't even know what you want. So you only "eat" more because you crave that instant moment of pleasure constantly. As you base your worth from outside sources, you feel empty inside, hence why you keep feeling the need to put things inside you to fill that void. You have a great desire to make the world fair for everyone and form genuine connections between people, but if you can't complete this purpose, you become unbalanced, overly-indulgent and insecure.

⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓

⁕ Taurus Salomè/Salomè at 2°-14°-26° : You enchant with your steadiness and sensuality. Your driven and kind hearted nature allows you to always put your best in everything you focus on, and you're not one to lose your focus easily.

⁕ People envy how firm and determined you are, despite looking very gracious outwardly, you never give up, and this beautiful combo of extremes make you look like a person that possess everything. Others are gonna want to break your peaceful and unshakable nature, taking advantage of your kindness, they're gonna try to use your resiliency for their interests and letting you see how much there is of the world by shifting your focus on the pleasures of life. Soon you're gonna enter the sensual world and you'd never want to go back. This is how they trigger your gluttony. ⁕ Your body craves intimacy and contact, but you've been living in your head, only focusing on possessions denying your sensual side. Now after realizing how food can fill you and make you enjoy the experience, you become addicted to it. The idea of something that doesn't take up space like everything in materialism, but can instead grow you to take up space (eating) makes you feel important and not tie your self worth to outward successes. But it's still making up for your lack of love coming from within, and if you can't feel it you can get stubborn, possessive and self-absorbed.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

6 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : W R A T H

⁕ Aries Salomè/Salomè at 1°-13°-25° : You enchant with your assertivity and bravery. Your optimistic and dynamic spirit combined with your dominant demeanor allow you to be a great leader.

⁕ You fearlessness and ease in overcoming challenges make people envious of the power you hold. They use your spontaneous and competitive nature to their interests, trying to make fun of you, to slowly make you lose the confidence in yourself and step down the throne you deserve, but you can't stand the view of this injustice (both if made to you or to others).This is how they trigger your wrath. ⁕ You are not afraid to speak up, but after you lose your confidence, your words are spilled out with impulsiveness and aggressiveness, making people afraid of how quick you can lose your temper. You have a great desire to help others realize their potential, and you want to guide them on the tortuous path of life, but if people ignore you and make you feel small, then you become impatient, insensitive and reckless.

⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓

⁕ Sagittarius Salomè/Salomè at 9°-21° : You enchant with your wisdom and open-mindedness. Your free spirit allows you to experience life humbly giving you the ability to transform your mistakes in insightful life lessons.

⁕ You change people's perspectives by elaborating a wide range of informations and putting them in a clear view thanks to your capability of grasping patterns, and others envy this. They want to robb your wisdom, to feel like wise Gods themselves, so they use your knowledge to shut your voice down, triggering your wrath. ⁕ Once you raise your voice and let everyone see this impulsive side of yourself, you can witness people losing interest and trust in you, making you insecure and small, full of existential crisis. You have a great desire to change the world for the best, and to let people see different point of view with your philosophy, but when you are not understood you can turn into a close-minded, highly opinionated and skeptical person.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

7 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ r e v e a l : S L O T H

⁕ Pisces Salomè/Salomè at 12°-24° : You enchant with your vulnerability and spirituality. Your imagination allows you to put yourself in other people's shoes and understand their point of view in an empathetic way.

⁕ Your easygoing and adaptable nature make others envious of you. They take advantage of your compassion by treating you as their personal punching bag, their shoulder to cry on, their victim to sacrifce. They suck all your energy into their personal interests, leaving you completely numb and not giving you space to display your creativity. This is how they trigger your sloth. ⁕ You have a great desire to feel emotions and share them with people that truly understand you, but if people neglect this aspect of yourself, you become lazy, unmotivated and hopeless. The world holds no meaning to you and you'd rather spend time feeling delusional than open up in fear of not being accepted.

⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓⁓

⁕ Cancer Salomè/Salomè at 4°-16°-28° : You enchant with your softness and compassion. Your nurturing and maternal energy makes others feel at home and safe.

⁕ Your incredible intuition knows everyone's needs and your affectionate nature make you want to help everyone just to see a smile on their faces. Unfortunately others can misuse this gift of yours to their interest since they're envious of how perfectly in tune you are with your emotions. When you can sense that all you see are fake smiles, you start to question your ability to heal others and your sensitive side is hightened. This is the perfect moment for those people to strike some offensive words that will make you insecure and want to just disappear from the world. This is how they trigger your sloth. ⁕ You isolate and close yourself in your shell to protect you from further damage. You feel you are unworthy and that you don't bring any value to the world, so you dwell in your sense of guilt and fear, unable to do anything. You have a great desire to make the world a better place, to share your love and emotions with others, to protect those in needs, but if you can't express this side of youself you become pessimistic, moody and manipulative.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

And you've reached the end! Congrats! And thanks for staying with me ✨

I hope you enjoyed this post and find it helpful in understanding your own Salomè placement 😊

Hope the dance steps were easy to follow too 💃

It took me some time to make cause i wanted to truly dive deep in the meaning of it and not only talk about the magnetizing part, but remember, this is only my interpretation, i'd love to peacefully discuss with you if you disagree with me 👍

I'm kinda tempted to make a post on Salomè through the houses, let me know if you'd love to know more on this asteroid

as always,

I wish you a wonderful day ahead (or night) 😘 and i'll see you in the next post! Yours Linnie 🌛

[a-big-apple]

Gideon, Harrow, and "Wedding Vows"

i frequently see the interpretation that this:

"The land that shall receive thee dying, in the same will I die: and there will I be buried. The Lord do so and so to me, and add more also, if aught but death part me and thee," said Gideon. (GtN 438)

plus this:

"If I forget you, let my right hand be forgotten," her mouth was saying. "Add more also, if aught but death part me and thee." And, unsteadily: "Griddle." (HtN 360)

plus this:

It didn't even matter when Kiriona said, "Sure, Cam. Marry a moron, then die. I get the urge." (NtN 372)

equals Gideon and Harrow are married! crying face emoji!

i'm not disparaging that interpretation, i think it's valid and has some basis in the text, and even if it wasn't/didn't, i think fans should have all the fun they want. but for me, it doesn't fully capture the complexity of what Gideon and Harrow are to each other, and i want to explore a slightly less straightforward reading.

Catholic weddings, vows, and Ruth under the cut ;)

Gideon and Ninth House traditions

let's start with Gideon quoting Ruth. i've seen folks repeating the idea that this is a wedding vow. it's more accurate to say that this is a verse often used as a wedding vow, in other denominations of Christianity, and secularly as well. but in a (traditional) Catholic wedding, the couple can't write or choose their own vows--the Celebration of Matrimony has specific text, with one or two variations, that is always used.

now, we haven't seen a Ninth House marriage ceremony. if we do see such a thing in AtN and discover that Ruth 1:17 is part of that tradition, i will cry a million happy queer tears about it. but i think it's somewhat likely that Gideon has never even seen a Ninth House wedding, given how small and trending elderly the population is, and that we know no couples in her lifetime have had kids other than the Reverend Parents.

what i'm getting at here is that this quotation from Ruth doesn't seem, to me, to represent something that's religiously or traditionally binding in Ninth House culture. it uses some similar language to Catholic marriage vows, "until death do us part" etc, but i don't think these are words that make them married in the eyes of the Ninth or the Houses at large, i think these are words Gideon has chosen as a specific expression of her devotion. and where does she get them from, if not some Ninth House ceremony or scripture?

well, this is a slightly longer stretch, but at the point in the story when Gideon says this, she's already dead. Harrow has begun to absorb her--and thanks to "The Unwanted Guest," we know that souls are porous, permeable, and rub off on each other when they're in contact. Gideon's soul is at this moment being integrated into Harrow's; Harrow has certainly read all kinds of books on the Ninth ranging from usual to totally heretical, some of them probably extremely old, and it's not unreasonable to think writings from before the Resurrection might have been copied and recopied into something Harrow could access. And speaking of soul permeability, Harrow's had Alecto's soul clinging onto hers for seven years, and Alecto's soul is in intimate contact with John's soul--there are so many ways for this bit of scripture to make its way into Gideon's non-corporeal mouth. the STI (Soulfully Transmitted Infection) of biblical knowledge.

Ruth in context

now let's talk a little about Ruth, the book of the Bible and also the character of the Bible, and Naomi, who she is swearing her devotion to. tl;dr, Naomi and her husband and two grown sons are Israelites who immigrate to Moab, a "pagan" nation, to escape famine. Naomi's two sons marry Moabite women; then the sons both die, as does Naomi's husband. Naomi, having lost everything, decides to return home where she'll be penniless and have a bad life but at least she'll be among her people; she tells her two daughters-in-law to go back to their families. One of them goes.

The other, Ruth, refuses, and swears beautiful devotion to Naomi, as we've heard Gideon quote: "She answered: Be not against me, to desire that I should leave thee and depart: for whithersoever thou shalt go, I will go: and where thou shalt dwell, I also will dwell. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. The land that shall receive thee dying, in the same will I die: and there will I be buried. The Lord do so and so to me, and add more also, if aught but death part me and thee."

in a biblical context, this has nothing to do with a wedding vow. Ruth is promising to leave the comfort of her own people, religion, and homeland to stay with her mother-in-law Naomi, even though the connection they had (Naomi's son, Ruth's husband) is gone, and all they have to look forward to is a terrible life of grief and bitterness. this is frequently interpreted as a parallel to Jesus, who (in the religious perspective) made the sacrifice of leaving his place with God and becoming human out of devotion to humanity, in order to live and suffer and redeem us. woof, this is giving me flashbacks to CCD.

of course, many Christians resist interpreting what passes between Ruth and Naomi as resembling a wedding vow for homophobic reasons too--making it about Jesus is a way to make it less queer--but i think the point still stands that this is a more complicated, and less marriage-related, expression of love than it seems taken on its own.

Harrow's lamentation

when Harrow later echoes it back, she conflates it with a different biblical quotation: "On the willows in the midst thereof we hung up our instruments. For there they that led us into captivity required of us the words of songs. And they that carried us away, said: Sing ye to us a hymn of the songs of Sion. How shall we sing the song of the Lord in a strange land? If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand be forgotten. Let my tongue cleave to my jaws, if I do not remember thee: If I make not Jerusalem the beginning of my joy."

it's a lament, an expression of mourning, a longing for home from someone who has been forcibly removed from it. when combined with the Ruth quotation, in which Ruth is giving up her home in her devotion, this really reads to me as both Harrow's grief, immediate and overpowering, and a realization that Gideon is her home, and failing to acknowledge that is as disabling as the loss of a hand or of the power of speech. Gideon is the beginning of her joy, and Harrow is, in this moment, putting Gideon above the Ninth House in her devotion. above Alecto. above everything.

and again, i'm not saying all of that can't be about marriage, but it's about a relationship much more complicated than marriage can encompass in the context House cultural norms.

Kiriona Gaia, saddest girl

this brings me to Kiriona, and "marry a moron, then die." consider the context of this, and the tone. Kiriona's deeply, deeply hurt. the saddest girl in the universe. she died for Harrow, avowed her devotion to Harrow, and then (from her perspective) was rejected; buried; excised from Harrow's brain and then from her body. Kiriona, as she did when she was Gideon, covers her emotions with humor and sarcasm. i suspect she's even less able to handle being vulnerable as Kiriona than she ever was before. she's making light of Canaan House and what happened there, and it's only in sarcastically downplaying what she's been through that she recounts her relationship to Harrow as a marriage--something she has almost no positive examples of, something that is in her experience frequently political and joyless. also notably, she frames it as a marriage that occurred before she died.

Their actual vow

what Gideon (and Kiriona) really wants--she tells us over and over again--is to be a true cavalier.

and what does Gideon's ghost repeat right before she devastates us with Ruth 1:17?

"One flesh, one end," said Gideon, and it was a murmur now, on the very edge of hearing. Harrow said, "Don't leave me." (GtN 438)

it's taken me a dozen paragraphs just to propose that this is their vow. "One flesh, one end" are the actual words that need to be spoken, in Gideon and Harrow's cultural context, to bring them into an official union with each other; a union that is arguably more fundamental in the Houses, and certainly more complicated, than a marriage. a union Gideon specifically wants, and has seen in action.

in the pool, they vow to each other as cavalier and necromancer. in the moments before Gideon's death, she forgives Harrow again, and exposes her heart: "'You know I only care about you,' she said in a brokenhearted rush" (GtN 430). then she repeats their oath again, acknowledges the pain she's about to cause for Harrow, and rededicates herself to the Ninth--a place she never really belonged, Harrow's home and people more than her own, as Ruth dedicated herself to Naomi's home and people. Gideon "married" her moron in the pool, and now she dies to fulfill that vow.

and as we saw above, after Gideon's death, she reminds Harrow again of their union--of its importance, of how she's fulfilling what she has interpreted to be her whole purpose as a cavalier--and it's in response to Harrow's "don't leave me" that Gideon offers a final reassurance of her devotion. in her mind, this sacrifice is its ultimate expression, the most inextricable and undeniable union two people can achieve.

Gideon believes she'll be part of Harrow forever.

[dilutedh2so4]

Biblical Book of Ruth: Homoerotic undertones? (full)

image credit: helene rogers (i think)

“Ruth said, ‘Do not press me to go back and abandon you! Wherever you go I will go, wherever you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God, my God. Where you die I will die, and there be buried. May the Lord do thus to me, and more, if even death separates me from you!’”

Ruth 1:16-17

You may expect this declaration of devotion to be made between two enamoured lovers. It does sound quite similar to wedding vows, especially "until death do us part" or even "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health." In fact, the YouCat (the Catholic Catechism designed for young people) quotes this exact passage in its section on marriage! (see end of post for sources)

Yet these words were not made as a promise between husband and wife, but instead between two women.

The story of Ruth and Naomi can be found in the aptly named "Book of Ruth." In summary, Naomi's family move from Judah to Moab because of a famine. There, they meet Ruth and her sister Orpah. Naomi's sons marry the two women, and they live in peace for a time. Then, a sudden illness strikes, and both the boys (Mahlon and Chilion) and their father (Elimelech) die.

With nothing left, Naomi decides she must return to her homeland of Bethlehem (in Judah). Ruth and Orpah object, and offer to go with her, but Naomi tries to dissuade them. She says doesn't have any more sons for them to marry, giving them no financial or social security - to her, it seems, she is now useless and worthless. Orpah comes to accept this, remaining in Moab, but Ruth will not relent. It is here she makes her heartfelt speech stated at the start of this post, vowing her entire life to Naomi. Just normal friendship things! This causes Naomi to realise Ruth's love for her, so she finally accepts the offer.

Some of you may be thinking, "This is just platonic! This is just friendship! This is what any woman would do! Why do you have to make everything gay?"

Well, ask yourselves this: is it gay to leave behind your country and all the people you've ever known (including your sister) just to accompany another woman to her homeland?

...A homeland which you have never been to, and where the people there are your enemies? (Numbers 21, Judges 3)

...Travelling across a hostile desert environment, on your own for all we know? (see a map of Moab to Bethlehem)

...Despite your lover insisting you stay, and your sister deciding to stay, but instead you dedicate your life and soul to your lover? (Ruth 1:14-18)

Makes you think.

I can already see your objections: "But then Ruth married Boaz [her male relative]! Naomi told her to do it!"

Again, let us consider Naomi and Ruth's social standing. They were both women, both widows, both poor and starving. Ruth had to go foraging in the fields, collecting scraps of grain left behind so they could eat! (see Ruth 2:2-3, referring to Leviticus 23:22)

These women needed a male relative to survive, a "guardian redeemer." This was the practice, highlighted in Leviticus 25:25-28 and Deuteronomy 25:5-10, where a man had the duty of restoring the land and marrying the widow of a kinsman who had died without an heir.

"Her husband’s brother shall go in to her, taking her in marriage and performing the duty of a husband’s brother to her, and the firstborn whom she bears shall succeed to the name of the deceased brother, so that his name may not be blotted out of Israel."

Deuteronomy 25:5-6

This union of Ruth and Boaz was a matter of survival. Naomi may have seemed excited and insistent in Ruth 2:20, but this was only after she realised Boaz was their kin and could 'redeem' Ruth. She was relieved they would not have to scavenge, starve, and suffer for much longer. She says this herself in Ruth 3:1, "My daughter, I must seek a home for you!"

Her use of "daughter" when referring to Ruth may irk some of you, but it is only a term of endearment. Boaz himself uses the same phrase for her, in Ruth 3:10, where it is implied they subsequently had sex.

[The inferred age gap between Ruth and Naomi might also irk you, but according to Ruth Rabbah 6:2 (a 6th century commentary on Ruth), Boaz was 80 and Ruth was 40 years old.]

Soon after, they are married, and Ruth bears Boaz a son. He is named Obed, and he will be the grandfather of King David. Here is the passage in full:

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. When they came together, the Lord made her conceive, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has borne him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him in her bosom and became his nurse. The women of the neighbourhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.”

Ruth 4:13-17

That final line, "a son has been born to Naomi," is particularly interesting to me. It is probably referencing how this firstborn will carry on her son Mahlon's legacy, but I like to think this is a subtle nod to Ruth and Naomi's relationship. I like to think it solidifies their "marriage," which began with those vows in Ruth 1, and ends here with the birth of a child they will raise together. A child not said to be born to Ruth's husband Boaz, but to Naomi - her (very hopefully possibly definitely) lover.

------------------------------

Thank you for reading! This was just me waffling, trying to prove a point to one of my friends. I hope it made sense.

I will repeat, THIS IS JUST AN INTERPRETATION. I don't think this is what the writers originally intended, however - as a lesbian raised Catholic - I think it's fun/interesting to explore different possibilities: possibilities that I'm not wrong, I'm not evil, I've always been here, I'm not alone.

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN LOL

Fun Fact: Bethlehem translates to "House of Bread," which is ironic considering Naomi's family had to flee from there because of famine.

SOURCES: YouCat, page 141 of 274 - YOUCAT (wordpress.com) Book of Ruth, chapters 1-4 - Ruth 1-4 NRSVUE Ruth Rabbah, 6:2 - Ruth Rabbah 6:2 with Lexicon (sefaria.org)

[fairytail-whathesays]

Please may I have Fairy tail Gray x Lucy headcanons?

Lucy doesn't often say this but Gray probably has Lucy's favorite form of magic in Fairy Tail besides her own. She very much agrees with Erza's assessment of Gray's Ice Make as being a very beautiful form of magic.

Gray is pretty much what Lucy envisions when she pictures "ideal boyfriend" and it takes her an embarrassingly long time to realize it. She probably would've started dating him sooner were it not for a certain Juvia-shaped deterrent. Likewise, it's canon that Gray is attracted to Lucy.

Gray is actually very fond of Lucy's writing, and it gets him started reading more than he ever did before. He wants to be able to know what Lucy's talking about when she starts going off on some spiel about her favorite book series of the week...and it works.

Lucy's favorite genre is romance, while Gray favors murder mysteries. They meet in the middle with the noir genre, which both of them enjoy.

Gray's stripping habit has, over the course of the series, cooled down into more of a simple shirtlessness habit (probably helped by the existence of belts). Lucy is hopeful that with a little more time, they can axe it completely. She's far and away used to it by now, of course, and that's not to say she necessarily dislikes it...

We've all seen how Lucy gets when the topic of guys comes up, especially the potential of dating one--she's shy, nervous, dithering, and overthinks, but in the end she cleans up nice and puts her best effort in. What she doesn't know is that Gray kind of goes through the same thing, endlessly back-and-forth-ing about what to wear, what to say, how to behave, and worrying how he'll come off and what to do...but they meet up and their first date goes very smoothly.

It takes a long time for Gray and Lucy to actually touch each other, and I don't necessarily mean biblically. They just aren't super touchy-feely by nature and it takes a minute for them to get comfortable enough with each other that Lucy does things like hold his hand or lean against his shoulder, or that Gray gets an arm around her shoulder or waist.

It's a little bit of a surprise for both of them--Lucy barely notices Gray's shirtlessness most of the time, but when she accidentally brushes against his waist after they become an item, suddenly she's hyper-aware of his half nakedness. Likewise, Gray's eyed Lucy up before, but he's suddenly very aware of how ungentlemanly it is once he's actually dating her. They're both shy and it's cute.

Lucy has never had a boyfriend before Gray--but Gray has had exactly one (1) girlfriend before. It was Cana, and they dated for a very short time. Surprisingly, this ends up not causing the friction Lucy thought it would, and Cana ends up being a great wingman and source of info on all Gray's behaviors and likes for Lucy's benefit.

Similarly, Gray goes to Levy and Erza when he needs advice on Lucy, since they know her best. Both of them are very happy to see Lucy with someone reliable and honest like him.

Said it before, I'll say it again, these two are one of the few that would actually work as a marriage. Lucy doesn't even need to consider it for a moment when he proposes, she says yes almost before he's finished the question.

Between Gray's wizarding work and Lucy's book sales, they're able to save up enough to go on their first vacation together relatively early. Gray takes her to Bellum, the homeland of Ur and where he studied Ice Make under her after Deliora destroyed Isvan. It's a nice time for both of them.

NS/FW:

Gray really unlocks Lucy's explorative side, because wow, she's never had a guy intimately before...and there's no better person to explore with than Gray. His gentle and curious style of sex matches up well with her inexperience and shyness.

Lucy discovers a lot that she likes about Gray's body. Her favorite parts of him are, in order, his collar, his waist, his back, and his pecs. Gray's never been viewed as a sexual entity before save for Juvia, and that much always made it uncomfortable, but Gray gains a new appreciation for his body and starts to enjoy feeling attractive.

They have remarkably good luck since it was ages before either of them remembered condoms were probably a good idea. No early pregnancies.

Gray held Lucy's hand all night after their first time.

Gray's lap is always open for Lucy, usually in private but maybe sometimes in public too when they're clubbing or just feeling possessive of one another.

Lucy can and will go out wearing Gray's clothes the morning after--his jeans included. Gray encourages it, since he's fine being naked anyway, although he usually restricts himself to Lucy's house until she comes home. Usually.

[cherubispunk]

𝚑𝚒 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚞𝚋𝚜!

𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝟷𝟾+ 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝! 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 (𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍, 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢). 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 '🪽'.

𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝙰𝙾𝟹 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚞𝚋𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚛.

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢 @𝚜𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚔𝚊.

𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 @𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚞𝚋-𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚘𝚗 '𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜' 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚞𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎.

𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎,

lu x 🪽

𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍…

ICHOR. BLOOD. WATER. 🪽

parts: 2/3 | w/c: 3,950 | smut, angst, fluff

summary: mythology!au, stranded. alone. a traitor to your people, your family. aeaea is the prison of paradise you call home, and he is the prophecy you like to call an enigma. the 'man made from metal', forged in fire, melted by your spell that is no witchcraft on your part. he is the hunter, you will always be the prey. this is the way. as the fates designed it.

𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒…

BARK! BITE! BLEED! 🪽

parts: 2/4| w/c: 5742 | angst, smut

summary: fwb!frankie, when on his tongue, you were alive. inside you he breathed again with the clutch of you around him. warm and beating, and thrumming quickly like a hummingbird's wings. a squatter temporarily camped up in the crack between two ribs. where thick muscle shuddered with breath. you believed something in you was worth loving. but you also knew for it to be found you'd have to be flayed alive. 

𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑…

BITE MY TONGUE

parts: 1/1 | w/c: 1240 | angst, smut

summary: postoutbreak!joel, everything is kind of a mess. And it hurts when he sneaks in each night to see you as merely a warm body to sleep with. Never next to.

THANK YOU, MR. MILLER

parts: 1/1 | w/c: 7789 | angst, fluff, smut

summary: bfd!joel, caught up in the devistation of you parents ever crumbling marriage, you seek help and comfort from your older neighbour.

CHERUB

parts: 3/3 | w/c: 13,013 | angst, smut

summary: dealer!joel, you hate him. you hate his face. you hate his voice. hate his fucking temper. but worst of all— the cataclysmic catalyst in your small world of four bedroom walls—you hate how you don’t hate him at all. not really. your heart wouldn’t let you. it would break your own ribs clean in two to lurch from your flayed chest and into his palms. if only he’d open them. 

UP IN YOUR ARMS 🪽

parts: 2/6 | w/c: 7,882 | angst, fluff, smut

summary: noir!joel, joel miller is a deadbeat. he admits that. coming back from the military after suffering a gunshot to the head- he's unemployable. he has no family, his wife having left him before he was drafted and his daughter dying of scarlet fever. only his brother is left. and, the reckless idiot tommy is, he gets caught up in the gang culture of boston, bootlegging alcohol and the like. 

it's only a matter of time before joel finds himself in the canary club, an underground speakeasy. where he meets you, the front act. 

NEPHILIM 🪽

parts: 3/3 | w/c: 4,081 | angst, fluff, smut

summary: jackson-era!joel joel miller was something of a biblical figure to you. a small glimpse into the past of something archaic, untold, and harbouring on the dangerous. you liked to imagine him as one of the nephilim. a son of god, offspring borne of a fallen angel and man. a giant of misunderstood nature. who’s soul had been cast down on earth in punishment. his large hands had bloodshed on them, or so people had said. they whispered it quietly in the spaces between. the places he didn’t occupy often. but he was always on your mind…so there was no place for those whispers there.

[ming-sik]

solemnly going back to the start of the rewrite im gonna post whenever i finish it and deleting the paragraph where i was like "so this is just gonna be a vague summary :) i might add more details later but this is just to get the AU solid in my head :)" because that is a lie. im doing summaries at the chapter level and therefore have only gotten to p3v5 in 19,000 words. im incapable of not doing this btw but to give you a taste of what im actually cooking i will do, my utmost, to summarize things in less than a thousand words:

rozemyne is born with laynoble mana that she only manages to compress to mednoble mana before her baptism, at which point she has devouring clumps, which work the same way as CAD and will also clump up if she consumes too much mana-rich stuff or channels too much mana into her body, so she's primarily reliant on magic tools and then her schtappe to get anything done. there is no cure for mana clumps, so using magic without one will always be life threatening, as mana toxicity cannot be treated with mana-rich potions or mana-infused spells. if the mana clumps add up too much, she will have a heart attack.

i'm calling this medscholar AU atp because its what's diverged almost everything substantially

hard difficulty spike on everything by taking away myne's infinite money mana and healing

hard spike on worldbuilding so you can look forward to shit like this and i have 5 dictionaries open right now

most of part 1 is about developing an alphabet and deciding how myne is going to be trapped in either the temple or a noble contract after her baptism

part 2 she loses contact with everyone in the lower city because she enters as a grey priest. she becomes ferdinand's attendant and after learning the biblical language he allows her to become his pupil and eventually join noble society. meanwhile gilberta company develops paper based on a huge bundle of drawings and instructions myne left behind. bindewald happens then sylvester makes giebe illgner adopt her and makes a contract saying he'll take her on as a medscholar when she comes of age and can be put in charge of the printing industry.

part 3 elvira put in charge of the industry and the gang prints three whole books but in the process establishes good relations with liesegang after rozemyne invents chocolate and hartmut is introduced as is charlotte. wilfried is sent to the temple. georgine starts her scheming and plotting after someone sneaks through that veronica was imprisoned.

rozemyne enters the RA as hartmut's apprentice scholar, proving herself a star student and learning about the gods during which she starts to make contact with the gods, hartmut is taken on as charlotte's attendant on sylvester's orders. charlotte and sylvester's conflict starts to kick into high gear until charlotte snaps and contacts georgine who starts doing her thing. wilfried and gil start agitating for the rights of priests/shrine maidens. rozemyne becomes increasingly aware of the situation the royal family is in and wonders if a revolution is on the horizon. sylvester demands to know the details, hears about a world without feudalism, and after a very messy arc he decides to look into that, as well as start to try and rescue his daughter from georgine's faction. also rozemyne's like going to school and stuff, taking the scholar course, meeting the characters, participating in shenanigans. all goes wrong when hartmut is forced into a marriage with detlinde and rozemyne's shipped off to ahrensbach with him.

or does it? hartmut makes contact with lanzenave and discovers that they overthrew their colonial royal family and now have rebuilt enough that they could potentially afford another war. they're playing with fire, but they have no idea when an opportunity like a zent without a grutrissheit directly after a civil war that means population and mana are at an all-time low might come again. despite georgine's schemes and plots, after she's finally thwarted and sylvester is forced to kill her, with the combined might of the gods and idk put interesting tactics here they eventually pull it off in a climactic battle where they fight both dunkelfelger and the sovereign knight's order. then they abolish the monarchy and institute a democratic centralist party and sylvester turns directly to the screen to criticize feudalism as a system just to be safe

[sixpossumsinaclownsuit]

Remember kiddos, polygamy and polyamory was only demonized for four core reasons:

Tw: homophobia, sexism, religious commentary, political commentary, oppression

1.) America wanted more taxes

Part of the legal institutionalization of marriage is that there is tax benefits for the individual parties when they get married, and financial ties/power is attorney between married people. It becomes messy when these ties extend to multiple people/marriages and the I*RS wants they tax money, and America would rather just make an entire way of life illegal than make laws and systems that accommodate people. See point #4 for more on that

2.) Puritan culture (aka thinly veiled sexism)

Puritan culture relies heavily on systems of control that villainize sex and women (that's a whole other conversation but I won't digress), and lots of marriages/polygamous marriages having sex with each other is obviously bad bad bad!! Hard to control!! Save the defenseless women from their pimp husbands! Orgies, the devil's work! And...

3.) Homophobia

Good god, women being in marriages together! Married to a man, but what if these women end up by being married to each other by extension! And having sex with each other! And what if a woman marries more than one man! Would these men become inferior to their wives? Would one of these husbands be less dominant than another? Would the men function in these complex marriages like a woman?! Disgusting! That's gay (derogatory!) Would these husbands be having sex with each other? But that's gay and gay is bad! Sex is bad! God, purge these sinners of their Sodomy!

(Surprise surprise, homophobia has very little to do with actual gay people and has everything to do with puritan culture, control, sexism and the demonization of sex, and points two and three are actually the same thing)

4.) Christian nationalism

Polygamy and nonmonogamy is normalized and integrated with several non-Christian and alternative Christian cultures going back thousands of years, like Islam, Mormonism, feudal Japanese/samurai cultures, Hinduism, several Native American cultures, etc... even in the Bible in Judeo-Christian history and biblical era cultures nonmonogamy was normalized. Banning nonmonogamy in America is banning the right to engage in non-christian religious rite and practice. It's only something criminal to post-puritan Christians and those beliefs becoming law, regardless of other religious beliefs and practices also existing in America, is the unseparation of church and state.

So before you tell a polyamorous person "oh that's cheating with permission" or "I could NEVER do that," or "I love my partner too much to do that/cheat like that," remember that these are the institutions and the propaganda you're upholding with your judgement. Supporting/ being kind about polyamory is religious tolerance, and biting your thumb at the I*RS.

Tl:dr, the dissolution of separating of church and state, puritan culture and the sexism/homophobia associated with puritan culture is why nonmonogamy is demonized and why polygamy is illegal in America.

Tone indication/post intention: satirical and exaggerated tones criticizing longstanding institutions of oppression with the intent to explain why judging, hating or criticizing nonmonogamous practices is oppressive and a result of propaganda. This post is not intended to persuade people who practice monogamy to practice nonmonogamy instead or to demonize monogamy. It is intended to advocate for breaking the stigma around nonmonogamy.

[dojae-huh]

If I was you

I'd wanna be me too.

Or how to stay calm and ship JaeDo.

Realise they started to date in 2018.

Establish that what they say and what they do are two opposite things. Keep being reminded about it over and over and over again.

Keep going with your own life keeping a lazy eye for the BIG CHANGE that never comes.

Easy-peasy.

Only the BIG CHANGE will mark a potential break up. Untill then: happily married. Even if you see no interactions for half a year. They smiled at each other? Then everything is as it should be, it's enough for a check up.

And, believe me, you will notice the BIG CHANGE. Because it will be MAJOR.

One psychiatrist with 20+ years of practice talked about his early years, when he had crowds of recently-divorsed women. Divorce became a culturally accepted thing, and thus many unhealthy and bad marriages were abruptly ended. However, despite finally being free of their awful marriages women fell into a mental crisis and went to a psychiatrist. They didn't know how to live and what to do, everything they had known for 10-20 years became obsolete, their established worlds, as toxic and unsuffarable as they were, crumbled, and the ex-wifes were left in a devastated state, depressed and lost. (That psychiatrist had few divorced men as clients because no Real man goes to a doctor, let alone a shrink).

Both JaeDo are men of habit, they don't like change, and they are pretty encapsulated in their NCT world, their lives are very intervined regardless of being boyfriends.

When Ten and Johnny somehow managed to hurt Doyoung, he couldn't forgive them for two years. And Ten and Doyoung were never even too much close. When Mark and Doyoung had a disagreement, we also saw it, and it also lasted more than a year. Taeil was excluded from NCT - Doyoung went silent for two weeks on bubble. When Jaehyun was angry at Taeyong he couldn't hide his temper and sabotaged their concert performances (the fanservice part). Jaehyun is so bad at supressing his emotions he releases his pent up frustration on curtains and does silent treatment when moody. Idol duties be damned. Now, think how close Jae and Do are, and what it will mean for boyfriends to become exes, what it will entail, how it will affect other neos like Haechan and Mark.

You will see a biblical scale disaster unfold. It will be a tsunami. Won't go unnoticed.

If you ticked off box 1, relax. If not, start from 2015 and end at 2019.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

1 2 4

(can be read as a standalone)

STEVE LOOKS AT HIS BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND THINKS FUCK IT

(ft. longing for a person that doesn't exist, queer joy, fighting internalized misogyny (and winning!) and bonding with a bitching telepath)

cw: homophobia (including slurs), child neglect

biblically accurate steve playlist

Carol once joked that the first and last time father saw mother without her full beauty routine was when they had Steve, and that that is the reason he is an only child. Steve doesn't think he has ever seen his mother without mascara and perfectly curled hair. Sometimes he wonders if his father ever did - he must have, right? They have been married for over a decade and had a fucking child together (even though it sometimes feels like they forget that last part.) But still, it's weird to imagine.

(Sometimes he has moments like that. He will be having a normal day and then a small insignificant thing will remind him of them and it will feel like one of those demo-monsters-whatever are clawing a hole into his chest. He knows that Nancy notices when he gets like that, but she has given up on asking him by now. He knows she wouldn't understand. Because she only knows Highschool-TommyandCarol, and it isn't those people that he misses. He misses the children that don't exist anymore - aches for the Carol that had a surprisingly dark and crude humor but would always apologize if she went to far, aches for the Tommy that would sneak into his house when both their parents weren't home and his brother and his friends were being too loud.

And the funny thing is that he isn't even sure what exactly it is that he misses so badly. Is it really Tommy, or is it just a warm body laying next to him in bed, holding him tenderly without any expectations? Does he miss Carol's wide smile and crooked teeth or someone who always has the ability to make him laugh, no matter the circumstances? Is it even a different person he is missing, or is it just a younger version of himself? A simpler time when monsters and other dimensions were only real in horror movies and his nightmares. A time when he only had to open his arms and Tommy and Carol would jump on him and they would snuggle together until he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

All he knows is that it doesn't matter. None of them are the kids they used to be. Hell, he hadn't felt like himself in their presence for years by the time he finally let them go. It means nothing in the grand scheme of things - but that doesn't stop it from hurting.)

Steve's relationship with beauty changed along with his relationship with his parents. When he was small his mother used to coo about his fluffy hair and big eyes. She would always tell him how lucky he was the he got the good looks from her side of the family, something akin to pride in her voice. Father would grumble and she would laugh but he got the feeling she wasn't kidding. (His mother was remarkably beautiful. His father was remarkably rich. Their marriage had been an unremarkable business deal that, as so many before, had not panned out as either of them had hoped. And then they had Steve.)

He didn't care for beauty when he was small. Or at least, he cared less for it than he did for his mother's smile when she called him her pretty boy. Any enjoyment that could be sparked by the former was extinguished by what felt like hours of hair-pulling and sitting still until everything looked just as she wanted it to - two of little Steve's least favorite pastimes. At first she would tug at his strands in warning whenever he squirmed too much (he still knows that the wall opposite to the sink has 125 tiles, and that the sixth one in the second row has a crack in the right corner). After a while she finally gave up, and he would be allowed to dance to the tune that was currently stuck in his head or mess around in his mother's special drawers.

He knows he was always fascinated by the drawers, even then. His mother would laugh at his interest. "Never grow up, Stephen", she'd say in a mocking tone he would not understand until he got older. But Steve just couldn't help it. He was fascinated by all the different textures and color. He didn't know there existed so many shades and hues of red until he found her lipstick drawer, and he didn't understand why both his parents got mad at him when he wanted to put some of her pretty glitter on his face.

The day before he would be left alone during a school day for the first time, his mother taught him how to properly do his hair. His father didn't want to at first, said that that was "girly shit", that he didn't want to see his one and only son "turn into a fucking queer". But he gave in to his mother, in the end, just like he always does. (Steve used to think that that was what love meant. He never complained when Tommy shoved an innocent freshman against the locker. He never asked Carol to stop when she invented another mean-spirited rumour. He never confessed to Nancy that her way of studying simply didn't work for him, that her flash cards sometimes only served to confuse him more. And when he finally did say no, they all left) (why is it always him that has to agree?)

At first he always woke up extra early to make himself presentable. That was the first time he realized that getting ready could be... fun. He didn't do it because it made his mother happy or because his father insisted he "look presentable", he started doing it because he...enjoyed it. He enjoyed how he could put the music he wanted and sing to himself in the mirror. He enjoyed how he could style his hair like he thought looked cool. He enjoyed how, when he used her Farrah Fawcett hairspray and closed his eyes, it almost felt as if she were in the room with him.

(Did he consider it, then? There was nobody to stop him. Nobody to make fun of him or tell him that it's wrong. He knew that he liked to feel pretty and that he wanted to see what his mother's blue eyeshadow with glitter would look like on his skin. But he also knew that only girls were allowed to do that, and Steve Harrington is not a girl.

He just knew that if he opened his mother's drawers that the others would know. That something horrible and unspeakable would happen. That something fundamental would change in him and that everyone would be able to tell, no matter how thoroughly he scrubbed his face afterwards. (There must be a reason why his father seemed so terrified of it, after all))

--

In psychology they learnt about the five stages of grief.

The first is denial. (They are going because they have no choice. They would stay with me if they could. They are just really really busy. The can't call because they would miss me too much.)

The second is anger.

Steve's second stage started on his second to last year of middle school, and with it came what Carol lovingly dubbed his "punk ass shit"-phase. It was a cold day in the middle of winter. Kenny hugged his mom before he entered into the car, like he did every day. Carol had caught a cold and wasn't at school. Tommy's brother came to pick him up in his new car, but he was already driving some of his friends and Steve didn't fit. So he had to push his bike back home (the snow was too thick to properly ride it) and when he finally arrived he was cold and wet and miserable and mad.

(He'd wanted to redirect his anger, at first, his brain so used to it it did it almost on autopilot. But he couldn't be angry at Tommy because he also would've taken the car if he had the option, and he couldn't be angry at Carol because she was feeling sick and that would be an asshole move, and he couldn't even be mad at Kenny because it wasn't Kenny's mom's fault that the rich neighborhood his parents wanted to live in was so far away from the school. And so all this anger was redirected to the one target he had left.)

Admittedly, his "punk ass shit"-phase only lasted until his parents returned (his mother didn't let him out of the house until his appearance was to her liking), but he remembers feeling very cool. He still chose his outfit the morning before, but he purposely used the same shirt multiple times and sometimes wore it with the back in the front or inside out. He would still mess with his hair, but instead of making it look stylish his goal was to make it look even messier than when he'd woken up.

(Sometimes he stared a bit too long at the drawers before he left).

Those few days were the most fun he'd ever had in the morning. It was also the first time he realized that it was possible to style himself how he wanted, not how his mother had always done it.

--

Steve didn't properly realize that makeup was even an option for people like him (Boys. Men. Harringtons.) until David Bowie. It was 1974 and Diamond Dogs was everywhere. His father didn't want him to listen to it, had said that this was music for degenerates, and Harringtons aren't fucking degenerates. (Steve had decided to keep to himself that he had said a bad word that supposedly only degenerates used, too. He had learnt by then that the same rules that applied to him did not apply to his father.)

It wasn't until he, Carol and Tommy went to the record shop that he understood why his father was so against it. He couldn't explain the low sloop in his stomach or the excitement igniting his heart when he saw the album cover for the first time. Bright red lips that couldn't be natural, shadowed eyes that made the blue seem so much brighter and...oh. Until he suddenly could. A smile spread on his face, a tiny private thing, because of course. It makes so much sense, how did he not figure it out sooner? A feeling of euphoria went through him unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Something clicked into place, he found another piece of the messed up puzzle that was Steve Harrington and for the first time he felt whole. He knew he could never tell anyone, knew he never could let his parents find out (fairy, sissy, degenerate), but...he didn't want to. This was something that belonged to only him. He wouldn't have to bargain it with others so they wouldn't leave, he wouldn't have to twist and change it and force it into a different form. It was something just for himself, something he could just let be, something purely Steve. (He then buried this realization and decided to never think about it again.)

Carol and Tommy moved on without him. He didn't even notice, so lost in his thoughts and the joys of discovery.

A lock of black hair shook him out of his reverie. "You look as if you were Gollum and Bowie here was waving the ring in front of your nose."

Steve needs a second to sort through the turmoil inside of him and remember where he is. He needs another to realize that whatever the other boy just said didn't make any fucking sense.

"...He isn't wearing any rings."

The boy rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't fall out of his head. He then launches into an overexcited explanation that Steve couldn't understand even if he wanted to. The only thing he can vaguely gleam from it is that he should feel insulted for being called a "Gollum" or something. When the boy pauses to catch his breath (he could be a really good swimmer, a part of him absentmindedly thinks, with these impressive lungs and slim figure) Steve uses the chance to try and redirect the conversation into more familiar territory.

"So, you like David Bowie?" is apparently the wrong thing to say, because he looks as if Steve just murdered his dog in front of him. Then again, the boy offers him a kiss (?!) so maybe he just strongly misread the situation. (Steve ignores the excitement in his gut when the word leaves the other's lips. "KISS", as if a kiss between two boys was the most normal thing in the world.)

By the time the boy grabs his wrist and drags him across the shop, Steve has decided to just go with the flow. He feels a bit disappointed to find out that KISS is just a band the other really enjoys. At seeing his lackluster expression, hr decides that Steve is "already too brainwashed by the masses" and a "hopeless cause", and Tommy and Carol find him again soon after the other leaves.

("What were you doing at the freak corner?", Tommy asks. Steve isn't sure why he changes the subject instead of answering.)

--

Steve tries not to let his disappointment show when he returns back home to find out that his parents returned early. "Surprise!", his mother says, followed by a scolding by his father for not being appropriately ecstatic. Two days later they are leaving again. He hugs his mother and shakes his father's hand and as soon as he hears their car leave the driveway he sprints upstairs to the bathroom.

Why didn't he do it this time?

Maybe it was paranoia: what if his parents decided the surprise visit was actually super awesome and suddenly returned? Maybe it was because David Bowie was a superstar, a god, unattainable and unstoppable; and he was just Steve Harrington, a small boy living in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. Or maybe it all came down to the simple fact that he was a boy, and he liked being a boy, and he wanted to be seen as a boy, and the thought of someone looking at him and thinking "girl" made his skin crawl.

So instead of rummaging through his mother's drawers and searching for the closest shade of lipstick to what Bowie is wearing on the cover of Diamond Dogs, he invented the skull game. It is simple really, all you need is a face and a mirror. You stare into the mirror, and you start noticing. You start noticing how pale your face looks in the blue bathroom light - or does it always look this way? You start noticing how deep your eyebags truly are, how dark and big and round and noticeable. You start noticing how sunken-in your cheeks actually look. And slowly, you stop being a person. Pale becomes white, blue becomes black, sunken-in becomes emaciated. And so you transform yourself into a living skull, into something that doesn't exist. Into something small and odd and also a little bit sad.

He isn't sure why he plays it, it certainly isn't fun and he's a bit scared of how much time can pass by without him noticing, but it is weirdly addicting.

--

The first time he sees a real-life boy wearing makeup in Hawkins, it is in the most surprising place and on the least surprising person.

Steve knows for a fact that he has never met Eddie Munson. Or, he is pretty sure, at least (he was never very good with faces). Eddie is two years older than him, so they never saw each other at middle school, and they decidedly do not run in the same circles. Nobody knows what his first name is (Steve is constantly wavering between thinking it is something boring like Edward, something really old-fashioned like Edwin, or something completely bizarre like Edmordian), and most people only refer to him as "freak".

And yet there is something about him that has Steve seeking him out, even if unconsciously. Steve will let his eyes wander in the cafeteria and only realize that he was searching for Eddie when he sees that messy mass of black hair. He will know that Eddie's locker is in the same corridor as the drama room, even though his is on the other side of the school and he barely has any classes there. He will know that Eddie is surprisingly good at maths and somewhat passable in English but absolutely atrocious in everything else. He will have this embarrassing little list of fun facts about that weird kid in the back of his mind and he only realizes it when some cheerleader one year above him makes a joke about what the freak must do in his freetime, and Steve promptly answers that he is in the drama club.

(Later Tommy will pull him aside and jokingly tells him to "be careful, or the others are going to think that the king is gone for the freak". Steve takes the warning for what it is and makes an active effort not to stare anymore. He is somewhat successful)

It all comes to a head on a Monday. It doesn't even have the decency to be a special Monday. It isn't the week before or after vacations and there are no holidays or birthdays. Eddie Munson once again stands on the designated freak table in the corner and holds an overenthusiastic speech about conformity and shit that everyone in the cafeteria is forced to hear. And Steve can't look away.

It is not because he is screaming and jumping on the table - that already lost it's novelty after the first month. It definitely isn't because his speech is especially riveting - Eddie references so much nerdy shit Steve has no idea about that most of the time he doesn't even understand what the whole thing is about. His hair does not look particularly silky and his rings don't look particularly shiny. But his eyes. Oh God, his eyes.

Eddie Munson is wearing eyeliner.

And suddenly he remembers the record shop. He remembers how the little boy had wild black hair and loved nerdy shit just like Eddie. He remembers how the little boy was so enthusiastic about everything and talked with his whole body just like Eddie. He remembers how that little boy - how Eddie - had been the only witness to his silent realization that he wanted to wear makeup and really really liked boys.

He thinks of deep burgundy lips and bright blue eyes in shadow and sharp black eyeliner.

(The knowledge comes to him all too willingly, as if it had been waiting for the chance to return to the forefront of his mind. It doesn't feel especially painful or surprising. He doesn't feel disgust because the thought of kissing another boy excites him just as much as the thought of kissing one of the girls sitting next to him. It's more like suddenly finding the plushy you used to sleep with as a baby without having even been looking for it. A bit unexpected, but also weirdly comforting. That day in the record shop he had simply made the decision that it would be easier if he only liked girls, and so he stopped thinking about it. He had carefully folded this knowledge like he would one of his polos and kept it safely hidden in his heart, waiting for the day he would deem the world ready to look at it again.

He knows that the world isn't ready, that his father can never find out, that boys who like boys are dropping like flies. But he also knows that Eddie is a normal boy like him who just wore eyeliner to school. He also knows that this part of him - this part of him that wants to kiss boys and wear glitter and bright red lipstick - is so intrinsically him that it would be a disservice not only to himself but to the world to simply not acknowledge it.

Steve Harrington is not like Eddie Munson. He is not brave. He does not go to school in eyeliner or even dares to secretly do it at home. But he doesn't bury the knowledge this time. He tucks it close to his chest and embraces it, something that belongs to only him and him alone.)

--

He always used to think that makeup had to be bold and flashy. Karen Wheeler's bright turquoise eyeshadow. Diana's over the top blush. The bands in the freak corner of the record shop he could now confidently say were not his thing. Cindy Lauper's... well, everything.

The thought that he could've died thinking that if his parents had been just a little less neglectful makes his little MUA-heart shrivel in despair.

It went like this: his parents were fighting once again, but this time it was bad enough that his mother came back early without warning. After the third time his parents had left, Steve realized that it didn't make sense for him to lock the bathroom door if there wasn't anyone else there who could enter, so he didn't bother anymore. Those seemingly arbitrary facts are very important.

It went like this: Steve is sitting on the toilet and has just finished doing number two. Steve's mom, who does not know that her son doesn't bother locking the door when they aren't home, enters this very same bathroom. Steve's mother has tears in her eyes and thus does not see how her suddenly throwing open the door almost gives her son a heart attack. Steve's panicked brain does not fight or flee but freeze. His mother is wiping her tears away and washing her face and thankfully doesn't notice. And then it happens: she takes a tube out of what tiny Steve had dubbed "mama's less interesting secret drawer" and starts dabbing it on her face. And if baby Steve had had his mind blown at seeing a shopping list for the first time, current Steve's mind explodes when he sees her taking the skin-colored creme - and he means exactly her skin color - and starts doing magic. Suddenly he understands why girls seem to have much less acne than boys. Everything that isn't perfectly smooth skin disappears beneath a thin layer of product. Even her puffy eyes and flushed cheeks (so that is where he gets it from) are gone without a trace. The only hint that something was wrong is the redness in her eyes. He half expects her to have a product against that, too, but instead she raises her gaze and immediately spots Steve.

"What are you doing here?!", she asks. Steve looks down to his current seat and isn't sure how to answer.

It is kind of funny. The first big mark in his beauty journey was when he was angry at his parents. The second is a rare moment of vulnerability with the very same. Mother and son, standing together in front of the bathroom mirror. Her fingers were gentle as she showed him how to hide red spots and eyebags without it looking like he was wearing anything at all.

They never speak of this day again. When he remembers it, everything almost has a dreamlike quality to it. Her fingers seem softer and her eyes brighter and it doesn't seem real. (It hurts, a bit).

"Mama's less interesting secret drawer" becomes "Mama's and Steve's secret drawer". His mother says that what they do doesn't count as makeup - that they are just "correcting imperfections which shouldn't be there in the first place" - but it sounds like she is trying to convince herself. The important part is that it becomes a fixed part of his beauty routine in the morning. He knows the girls are envious of his clear skin and the guys keep not-so-jokingly asking how he can be keg king on the weekend and not even look tired on Monday. His nickname in school becomes "the hair" (he still religiously uses Farrah Fawcett)

Sometimes he amuses himself with the thought of his "ultra-masculine" bros finding out that his secret is makeup. That they could appear just as unaffected if only they got over their dumb prejudices.

--

(The thing Steve is most ashamed of is how he doesn't fight back. He doesn't fight back when the people he surrounds himself with - his friends, he has to remind himself - call others a fag or a fairy or a queer and mean it as an insult.

(The worst is when he slips up and accidentally uses it himself.)

No, Steve is not ashamed of who he is. He is ashamed of the world, and he is ashamed of being a part of it.

He starts playing the skull game almost every day.)

--

It is about a year later that he finds out that the biggest difference between covering a bruise and eyebags is the pain level. (He doesn't know it yet, but that is a lesson he will have the pleasure of rediscovering again and again and again)

--

The third big mark in his beauty journey has nothing to do with his parents, for once.

Nancy Wheeler is a beautiful girl and when he first sees her he swears it is love at first sight. He does not change his mind when her best friend dies in his pool. He does not change his mind when Carol and Tommy refuse to speak to him in the hallways. He does not change his mind when he sees the monster that turns his life upside down.

Nancy is his girlfriend, even if things are sometimes awkward between them and she starts blowing him off more and more. Tommy and Carol and whoever else he used to sit with abandoned him without a second thought. His parents aren't home either, but that last part is barely noteworthy.

It is when he is awkwardly sitting in the library while Jonathan quizzes Nancy for the test she has next period that he realizes that he cannot fall any further in the social ladder. (It is another unremarkable Monday.)

Funnily, the thought doesn't fill him with dread or grief or disgust. Instead, he finally feels at peace. Everything he had always feared has come to pass, and he is (mostly) fine. It is an oddly freeing sentiment. And as soon as he arrives home he finally tries on the blue eyeshadow with glitter he has had an eye on since he was a little boy. (It looks even better than he had imagined.)

--

Getting his ass beat by Jonathan Byers has nothing on being almost punched to death by Billy Hargrove.

Everything is black and then he is in a car and Max is decidedly not driving them to his house or to the nearest hospital and he decides that it is easier to worry about his plants instead of the very real danger of being eaten by monsters of another dimension or the by now familiar symptoms of a concussion he is already feeling.

--

When Steve looks into a mirror for the first time after everything, he looks exactly as bad as he thought it would. Which is not a good thing, because he had been actively trying to lower his expectations so he could feel relief when he was confronted with his face. Seems like this plan, just like all his others, didn't pan out like he had expected. Must be in the family.

When Steve finally arrives back home he just wants to lay down and never wake up again. Unfortunately, he knows that he can't allow himself to do that - the doctors were very clear on that front. So he goes tend to his kids (taking a second to thank god that his parents didn't come home when they got the call from the hospital.) After everyone was appropriately fussed over (especially the bonsais, needy little shits), he goes to the bathroom, opens "Mama's and Steve's secret drawer" and tries to figure out the best and most efficient way to hide all the marks on his face. (Call him petty, but he doesn't want fucking Hargrove to have the satisfaction of seeing what exactly he did to Steve's face.)

It hurts like a bitch and he gives up in the end, but at least he doesn't fall asleep. The doctor would be proud of him.

--

It feels somewhat odd - wrong, even - to panic about something so trivial, so normal, after all the shit they've been through.

And yet here they are. Kids who willingly drive into underground tunnels infested with flesh-eating monsters like it is nothing, but as soon as they have to slow dance? Suddenly they are all wetting their pants.

His first stop is at Dustin's. In all of his mother's wisdom, she unfortunately forgot to mention that there is a big fucking difference between straight and curly hair. He gets a weird sense of deja-vu as he stands behind the kid, desperately trying to pull his hair in a resemblance of his own go-to hairstyle (the idea of doing anything more fancy went out the window about five minutes after this torture started. He reminds himself that he willingly chose to do this. It doesn't help much.) Farrah Fawcett is in the air and Henderson is wiggling around like his ass is on fire and Steve is feeling oddly...paternal.

To be completely honest, he has no idea what he is doing. He is starting to suspect that the "for all hair types" advertised on the tin is a fucking lie. If it were anyone else he probably would've given up by now, but he and the little Henderson have somewhat bonded and the shithead has been freaking out about this stupid ball for-fucking-ever and he really couldn't do this to the poor dude.

After this foretaste of actual purgatory, his masterpiece looks questionable at best. Although he puts in a valiant effort in convincing both himself and Dustin of the opposite.

(Now he can almost understand why his parents avoided him as much as possible. (That is a lie. Even the thought of missing this makes him shiver.))

Mrs. Henderson wants to take an album worth of prom photos, but Steve catches a glimpse of the clock and just barely stops himself from cursing as he runs to his beloved Beemer (he doesn't give a shit about the little ones, but only the actual devil would have the audacity to swear in front of Mrs. Henderson.)

When he arrives at his house he would be fearing for his life if the person currently in possession of a loaded gun wasn't also depending on him to make his daughter's makeup for the ball. (You know the saying, never bring a bat full of nails to a gunfight. Although El would have both of them beat without breaking a sweat.)

He already lost way too much time on Henderson's hair, but Max insists that she needs to see Red Cactusfield first thing and that she also has to make sure that Non-Concussed Steve remains Non-Concussed. So he gestures vaguely to where said plants are currently residing and ushers El up to the bathroom before Hopper can change his mind and actually shoot him. (Dustin would never forgive Steve.)

As soon as Steve opens "Mama's cool secret drawer", El is fascinated by the blacks. Hopper takes one look at what she is so enamored by and immediately shakes his head. For a moment El and Hopper just glare at each other, and Steve is sure his mother's entire makeup collection is about to start floating. The image of his mother finding out that he somehow managed to break her precious hoard is more horrifying than Hopper's worst glare, so he swears up and down that she won't be going out of this door looking like "one of those damn punks" and throws him out.

When he looks back, she has found an eyeshadow palette that looks way more "damn punk" than anything his mother should logically own, and her finger - filled with so much black he can feel the smears just by looking at it - are halfway to her eye.

"Wait! No no no no no no no stop!" He manages to grab her arm before she actually manages to rub the finger all over her face and he isn't sure wether it's luck or the sheer desperation in his eyes that stop her from throwing him off without even lifting a finger.

She looks at him with the saddest fucking eyes he's ever seen and says in an absolutely devastated tone "But I want to look bitching." (Steve doesn't know how he manages to hold in his laughter. He didn't even know that she knew what a curse word was)

The poor girl looks absolutely heartbroken but he is sure that Hopper will make his life actual hell if she comes out of this room with bold black eyes. The only way he sees out of this dilemma is to tell the innocent creature in front of him the most bold-faced lie he's ever invented.

"Look, I see that black is a very cool color", he says, slowly kneeling down and taking the pallet from her hands. "Bitching", she replies, and he thinks he can allow a few swearwords if she can't wear the look she actually wants. "Yeah, bitching", he nods, "but black doesn't go well with your dress." (He feels like the worst person in the world when she nods as if he's just revealed her the secrets of the universe. Everyone knows black goes with every color.)

"But don't worry!" he screams before she can think about it for point five seconds and realize what absolute garbage just came out of his mouth. "We have lots of other colors!"

He almost sobs in relief when her second choice is a nice light pink. He wants to start applying it, but a shake of her head stops him. "Did you change your mind?", he asks, stomach sinking, but thankfully she shakes her head again. Instead, she points to herself. "Me."

"You...you want to apply it yourself?"

She nods excited. "Yes! Just like the girls on TV before they- before they go on a...a"

"A date?". She blushes and nods again. Steve needs to hold himself back from squeezing her to death. He hands her the eyeshadow, and she takes it as if it was the most precious treasure in the world. And then she stares. And stares. And stares.

"Do you want help?" He tries his best not to let any impatience show in his voice, but they are already running late and he still has to do Max (and that's without counting the time it will take to convince her to put anything beauty-related even near her face)

She shakes her head, seems to think on it for a second and then nods. "I'm nervous."

"That's okay. You know, the first time I used makeup I was super nervous, too."

"You use makeup?"

He freezes. He'd been so preoccupied with reassuring her that he hadn't even thought about the words coming out of his mouth. He considers running away. Hell, he considers jumping out of the window.

But he thinks of Eddie Munson and David Bowie. He thinks of the person he'd been before he was "dethroned". He thinks of chapped lips and of cherry red surrounded by blond stubbles. He thinks "I want to be better".

Steve looks at the girl before him - really looks at her. At her innocent eyes even after all the shit she went through. Thinks, fuck, this poor kid was literally raised in a lab, if there is anyone who won't judge him for enjoying making himself look pretty it will be her.

He nods. She smiles. It is as simple as that.

"What did you do to not be nervous anymore?" He doesn't need to look at the clock to know that they definitely don't have enough time for that entire conversation. So he sighs, and tells her the only thing he can come up with on the fly. He sighs a second time when he sees her reaching for the black eyeshadow again, but gives her the go-ahead when she looks at him questioningly. "You're going to look bitching", she declares. "Absolutely bitching", he agrees.

As soon as they are done he collects Max and Hopper where they are silently admiring his Bonsai collection (he can't believe these spoiled ladies are actually his favorite, not that the kids can ever know). Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think he has ever seen the two of them just....talk.

Max is so distracted by his new look he manages to spread some blush on her cheeks before she can notice, and even somehow convinces her to put on a colored chapstick and a bit of white on her lower waterline as an apology for laughing at him. (He and El make a great team. Nobody is allowed to call their looks anything less than bitching)

Unexpected talent #3: Make Up

[millionsknives]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Judd Legum at Popular Information:

In a wild presidential election featuring dozens of criminal felony charges, fallacious claims about election fraud, and sexist invective, it's easy to forget a fundamental truth: The real impact of the election will be expressed through changes to federal law and policy. 

[...] There is one policy area where Trump has been much clearer. At his Madison Square Garden rally on October 27, Trump said he would put RFK Jr. in charge of the nation's health policy. "I’m going to let him go wild on health, I’m going to let him go wild on the food, I’m going to let him go wild on medicines," Trump told the crowd. At an online event the following day, RFK Jr. said that Trump had promised him "control" of all federal public health agencies. What are RFK Jr.'s plans once he controls federal public health policy? On Saturday, RFK Jr. posted on X that he would "advise all U.S. water systems to remove fluoride from public water" on the first day of Trump's presidency. 

According to the CDC, fluoridated drinking water in the United States is "one of the ten greatest public health achievements in the United States."  Specifically, "[d]rinking fluoridated water keeps the teeth strong and reduces tooth decay by approximately 25% in children and adults." Fluoridation of community water supplies is "recommended by nearly all public health, medical, and dental organizations including the American Dental Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, US Public Health Service, and World Health Organization." According to the American Dental Association, "every $1 invested in water fluoridation saves $38 in dental treatment costs." While the federal government is not directly involved in fluoridating water, there are many ways for the federal government to influence state and local policy.

Community water fluoridation has been criticized by cranks and conspiracy theorists since the 1950s when some claimed it was part of a plot by Communists to brainwash the American public. Others falsely claim that the practice was started by the Nazis as a method to poison and pacify Jews. In his post, RFK Jr. incorrectly describes fluoride, a naturally occurring mineral, as "industrial waste." Fluoride can be a byproduct of the production of aluminum and certain fertilizers, and conspiracy theorists have claimed that water fluoridation was pushed by corporations looking to offload their excess fluoride.  [...]

The Trump campaign, notably, chose not to contradict RFK Jr.'s claims about the Trump administration's plans for fluoridation. “While President Trump has received a variety of policy ideas, he is focused on Tuesday’s election,” Trump adviser Danielle Alvarez told the Associated Press.  Fluoride is not the only issue where RFK Jr.'s views deviate from public health experts. RFK Jr. has also falsely linked childhood vaccines — which have saved millions of lives — to autism and chronic diseases, claimed that COVID-19 was engineered to spare Ashkenazi Jewish and Chinese people, and claimed that 5G technology "damages human DNA [and] causes cancer." 

[...]

The truth about Project 2025

Dozens of people appointed or nominated to positions in the first Trump administration and transition created a policy blueprint called Project 2025 under the auspices of the Heritage Foundation. Project 2025, which spans 922 pages, calls for withdrawing approval for the abortion pill, banning pornography, slashing corporate taxes, abolishing the Department of Education, replacing thousands of experienced federal workers with political appointees, imposing a "biblically based… definition of marriage and families," and placing the Justice Department and other independent agencies under the direct control of the president. Trump has sought to distance himself from the document, saying he "has no idea who is behind it." Heritage Foundation President Kevin Roberts, however, told the Financial Times that he is "personally close" with Trump and talks to him "often."

Putting a conspiracist crank like RFK Jr. in office is a bad bad idea.

See Also:

MMFA: Fox vouched for RFK Jr.’s health views. Now that bill may come due.

[orthodoxadventure]

The meaning and spiritual beauty of icons

The word icon is a transliteration of the Greek word eikon and is found throughout the New Testament, particularly in the letters of the apostle Paul. For example, St. Paul calls the Lord Jesus "the icon of the invisible God" (Colossians 1:15) and "the icon of God" (2 Corinthians 4:4). While most Roman Catholic and Protestant Christians are familiar with the biblical theme of Jesus as the Word of God made flesh (John 1:1-14), Orthodox Christians also celebrate the biblical theme of Jesus as the Icon or Image of God. The icons found in Orthodox Churches are a celebration of the fact that Jesus Christ is indeed the Word of God made flesh and that anyone who has seen Jesus has seen the Father (John 12:45 and 14:8-12). As the 7th Ecumenical Council held in the city of Nicea in 787 AD proclaimed, icons are in color what the Scriptures are in words: witnesses to the incarnation, the fact that God has come among us as a person whom we can see, touch and hear. Christianity is, therefore, the revelation not only of the Word of God but also the Image of God in the face of Christ.

Icons are a uniquely liturgical art form; their most proper setting is the Church. Icons are meant to inspire prayer. The icon is a door through which we enter Reality. The purpose of an icon is to take us into the realm of the Spirit. In this sense, the icon is not merely art. It is a work of Christian witness. It offers us Truth as a vision. An icon is therefore an image of the invisible, a reflection of the Beyond. It is an expression of spiritual experience, of mystical life, of worship and surrender. It is a reflection of divine Beauty. It points us beyond itself and is a window upon eternity, a point at which the present world intersects with the Kingdom that is to come. Every icon is intended to be a marriage between the terrestrial and the celestial. And, through this window, not only do we look from this world into the Kingdom: our gaze is met by the eyes of another who looks out from the Kingdom and holds us in his or her gaze. To gaze at an icon in the correct attitude of devotion is to acquire the proper orientation of our vision, thought, desire and will: the face of God in the face of Christ, the splendor of the Kingdom, the divine destiny that is the vocation of every living soul. An icon radiates joy and peace. First and foremost, icons are an expression of the Church's faith and only secondarily of the artist's 'talent' and abilities as a painter.

Metropolitan Kallistos Ware has written: "Because the icon is a part of Tradition, the icon painter is not free to adapt or innovate as he pleases; for his work must reflect, not his own aesthetic sentiments, but the mind of the Church. Artistic inspiration is not excluded, but it is exercised within certain prescribed limits. It is important than an icon painter should be a good artist, but it is even more important that he should be a sincere Christian, living within the spirit of the Tradition, preparing himself for his work by means of Confession and Holy Communion." An icon is dogma and theology in colors. It is a celebration of God's victory over sin and death.

[Source of text: The Divine Liturgy of our Father among the Saints John Chrysostom (with Commentary and Notes)]